How to Handle Conflict in Church
Here’s a summary of this week’s sermon:
The talk focuses on handling conflict within the church, using Acts 6:1-7 as the key scripture.
The central point is the importance of addressing conflict with wisdom, love, and a Christ-like attitude, keeping the bigger picture and the mission of the church in mind.
The talk emphasizes the inevitability of conflict in life and the need to approach it with humility, forgiveness, and a willingness to learn and grow together.
The message is one of unity and peacemaking, encouraging us to handle conflicts in a way that strengthens relationships, fosters understanding, and reflects the love and grace of Jesus.
💬 CONVERSATION STREET --
Matt + Sadaf discuss:
What stood out to you from Dave’s talk about resolving conflicts?
Is it always easy to ask forgiveness and to be the first person to do so?
When you lose your temper it can be hard to see things the way you should be seeing them. What do you do in that situation?
Having been in conflict long term with family, should I just leave them to their own drama and just live my own life? Or should I try and confront the situation head on again?
What can we learn from the way the apostles handled the conflict between the Hellenistic Jews & the Hebrews?
In what ways can conflict be a catalyst for growth, understanding and deeper relationships?
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Dave: Today I want to briefly look at how the early church, um, dealt with conflict and we'll use, um, acts chapter six, verse one to seven as our key scripture. We read in verse one. Now, at the time, whilst the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint arose on the part of the Hellistic Jews against the native Hebrews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily serving of food.
The word now grabs my attention. It draws my attention to the significant growth, um, being seen in the church. It started with 3000 on, um, day one in Acts two, verse 41 to um, 5,000 in chapter four, verse four, and maybe as many as 10,000 by the time we get to the portion of scripture we're looking at today. You know, with growth often comes challenges. It's true in life. It's true in marriage, it's true in organization, and it's true in the church.
Everything seemed to be going really well in these early verses. Luke tells us that they were living in one accord. He tells us in chapter four, verse 34, that there was no needy person amongst them. Growth brought change, and change often brings challenge. These Hellenistic Jews were born outside of Palestine and they spoke Greek. Native Jews from Palestine often spoke Aramaic and Hebrew. We see how language was a barrier and brought about conflict.
Think about that in our daily lives, how the language we use, for example, we may all speak English, but in our words quite often, bring conflict. Conflict is inevitable in life. We must be willing to handle it whenever it raises its ugly head. In our text, the widows, the Hellenistic Jews were being neglected. The native Jews see themselves as more righteous and more Jewish whilst looking down on others.
Make no mistake, there is no end to the things that people take offense over, whether intentional or not. Let me remind you, um, of the complaint that comes, the report that, um, arises and it arises in the midst of great growth in the church. Good things are happening. It's worth pointing out here that Satan is the Origin of conflict. Conflict serves his purposes. He successfully sowed the first seed of opposing opinions in the mind of Adam and Eve.
You read about that in Genesis two, verse 17, and I'd encourage you to read that just to help with context in today's talk. Let's look at the Apostle's conflict resolution. Verse two. So the 12 summoned the congregation of the disciples and said, it is not desirable for us to neglect the word of God in order to serve tables.
Therefore, brethren select from among you seven men of good reputation full of the Holy Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may put in charge of this task, but we will devote ourselves to Prayer and to the ministry of the word, the Apostles applied conflict resolution tool number one, which is having a correct view of life and mission.
Their mission in life was the great commission. They didn't want any distractions because they had a correct view of life and mission and provided help. This would be true for us. When our mission is defined, our view of life will be impacted. Consequently, our priorities are impacted, and with that in mind, we would fight any distraction with every fiber of our being.
In verse five, we read how, um, with agreements of the congregation, the apostles pick several men out to serve in this area. The apostles prayed for them, they laid hands on them, and this is all about appointing them and acknowledging them and acknowledging the responsibility that has been, um, given to these men for the task. This is what the Apostle Paul strived to accomplish when he wrote to the Corinthians in his aim to diffuse the conflict that has resulted by different factions there. Remember it said, I'm of Paul, I'm of Apollos, and I'm of Cephas, and I'm of Christ. Has Christ been divided. Was Paul crucified for you?
Four factions in that church. He did the same thing when he wrote to the Philippians, hoping to resolve the conflict there between two women in the church. See, we must avoid conflict and sowing the seeds of discourse at all cost, and you can read about that clearly in Proverbs Chapter six, verses 12 to 19. What is the Bible's concept of conflict? Well, I would suggest that something like this, that according to the Bible, there's nothing inherently wrong with conflict. Disagreements happen. But the way we are to resolve our conflict is extremely important. Conflict can become a catalyst to greater understanding, greater intimacy, greater depth of relationship, or it can bring anger, bitterness, broken relationships, and sin.
What is the biblical definition of sin? In Christianity sin is an immoral act, considered to be a transgression of divine law. The doctrine of sin is central to the Christian faith since its basic message is about redemption in Christ. Let me offer an illustration that may help us understand the situation. When we look at the apostle's instruction on how this conflict was to be resolved, we discover a crucial truth. Resolution of conflict comes when people who are looking at the bigger picture of the church mission help those cause in the smaller picture of the conflict to resolve it for the good of all.
What does such a resolution look like for two men in a conflict for example? Well go to one of the men and say something like this. Hello my friend. Can we talk for a moment? Listen, I know that you two guys, you're at odds at the moment. Maybe wires have got crossed? And I know that there's conflict. I don't know who's right and I don't know who's wrong.
My guess is probably both are partially right and both are partially wrong. That's how these things usually happen. That's how they usually are. But as you are my friends, can I ask you to consider something even better to do something for me and for the church at large. Can I ask you to remember who we are and what we are here for?
I'm afraid that this whole situation has become so big and so deep and so ugly that you guys are forgetting that people around us are lost and people around us are going to hell and they need a church that is united in the gospel and speaking together and loving each other. Can I just say to you that whatever you stand to gain in this conflict, if you win, does not come close to matching what we're all going to lose if this thing isn't resolved and resolved quickly.
So please, can I ask you to take a moment to think about this? God is wanting to do something here. God is wanting us to do something here. This, this conflict, no matter how legitimate the concerns that lie behind it may be, really does threaten the entire body. Let's all humble ourselves and apologize.
Let's forgive and come back together in Christ. That's how I think we should look at conflict. Hey, listen, it's not easy. I'm not just saying forget it. Push it to one side. What I'm saying, let's deal with it and deal with it thoroughly. Let's deal with it lovingly. Let's deal with it in a Christlike way. Let's keep First things first. Imagine what the world would be like if every conflict is resolved peacefully. It would be heavenly I would suggest.
What would our worth look like if individuals and nations in conflict could resolve their differences without bullets and bombs? The consequences of conflict are deep. The conflict brings tragedy, pain, and hurt. What would a home be like if members of a household could resolve their conflict without raising the roof? What if marriage would be unbroken, family, unshattered and children left out in the cold. How attractive would our church be, if conflict does not split us, it would be a banner, I would suggest.
It would be a banner of love to the world, heartwarming to those within and inviting to those without. Billy Graham once said, man is a rebel, and a rebel is naturally in confusion. He is in conflict with every other rebel. For a rebel by his very nature is selfish. He is seeking his own good and not the good of others. In a world where it's all about me, we need the revelation, the insight from God that it's not all about us, but it needs to be all about Him and His glory.
Matt: Coming up, we have Conversation street, but before we get into that, here's a clip from our podcast. What's the story which you can subscribe to on all your favorite podcast apps?
Sadaf: God is good. Let's start there. God is good and everything he does is for good. It's for our good. And yes, you know, hard things happen and, um, we have, we have personal experiences that are hard. We have shared experiences that are hard and they're hard nonetheless, but the Lord allows them and, um, you know, they shape us.
They shape us into becoming more like him if we allow them to. And um, and I think sometimes going through those hard times is what gives us more substance. It makes us stronger, it makes us, um, become even more aware of how good he is.
Matt: So welcome back. Uh, yes, that's Sadaf on the screen twice in two very different locations. Uh, one might add, in fact, we were both in very different locations then.
Uh, as to be said, I was just watching that clip going, oh yeah, we recorded that a few weeks ago. Uh, we have a studio just to give you some sort of, uh, heads up. We have a new studio, don't we? Um, at our office, Sadaf and I work together and, and at the office we have a new studio, which is, uh, up for four people, uh, which we're excited about.
So, uh, we're gonna be hosting Crowd from there at some point in the not too distant future. I did think Sadaf, uh, whether we should just go down and, and try and host from there this week. But then I thought, I don't, I think we need to record a few more things in there before we actually try and go live. Uh, so hence the reason we're still in this format, but yes, uh, so, and in fact, you were telling me, um, Uh, because I can hear Sadaf in my ear just literally all the time.
Um, that's just my life. Um, and no, we, um, I, yeah, the voice of my conscience sounds remarkably like Sadaf or my wife, and it's just, it's just one of those, um, so we were talking actually while that was going on, that actually that episode of What's the story is not actually out yet. It's gonna come out in the next few days. And that's your story, isn't it? So, yeah. Yeah. How was that recording that?
Sadaf: Um, it was, it was okay. I think. It was okay.
Matt: it was okay. I think.
Sadaf: Yeah, it
Matt: Uh, very good.
Sadaf: Hopefully it'll be a blessing to people then, um, you know, then we'll see.
Matt: No it will. I have no doubt. It was a great, great episode actually. Uh, and it was really interesting doing it in that studio as well. Um, Matt, there it is. Uh, there's the Sadaf's laugh. He's put in the comments. Um, so apparently your laugh is famous, uh, which is, you know, it's good to be fa famous for something, I suppose. Dave Connollys talk about conflict, enough about what's the story. Uh, if you would like to subscribe to the podcast, do do that whatsthestorypodcast.com. You can find all the information there. Sadaf's episode will be out in the next few days where we are gonna talk about her story, which is a phenomenal story actually.
Uh, and you'll enjoy it and it will be a blessing to you. So do subscribe to that. Um, that's just extra stuff we put out as, as, as part of Crowd, really, it's just deep diving into people's stories. Um, and so yeah, this, this, this week we pick on you Sadaf, which is, is a beautiful thing. So, um, do check those out, right.
Dave's talk. We're talking about conflict, we're talking about the early church and how this problem arose, uh, between the two different factions of the Jews. And, um, there was a problem and the disciples seemed to answer this quickly and easily by trying to find, uh, I, I like that. I put it in the comment.
Seven men of good reputation. Not easy to find. Seven men of good reputation. Not even today, right? Of course I can say that. Uh, I can say that. Uh, so yes. So Dave talks about conflicts and resolving conflict in the church and in life generally, and made some really powerful points in there, didn't he? So Sadaf, what stood out to you from Dave's talk?
Sadaf: You know so much. I thought there was so much. Um, Wisdom in that, in, in what he spoke about, and so many, um, practical, um, pieces of advice that you could run, you know, take away with and apply. Thought it was great. Um, I really liked what he said, that for conflict, what you need is humility, forgiveness, and, um, love in action really.
And I think that's kind of what it, it all comes down to, in, in the end, like aligning ourselves with, um, the, the fruits of the spirit and, um, being humble in asking for forgiveness. Just, you know, yeah, put my hand up. I was wrong. Being the first person to do that is quite powerful.
Matt: Yeah, it is. I mean, if we talk about marriage for a little bit, Sharon and I have been married 25 years. I may have said this before in the Crowd livestream. I'm quite proud that we've reached a 25 year milestone and she's not killed me, if I'm honest with you. Um, but it's really one of the things that people say to me all the time is like, how, how do you have, you know, a successful marriage? Um, how do you have a good marriage? And one of the pieces of advice I always give is be the first person to apologize. Uh, even if you think it's not your fault, you're gonna be at fault for something. Probably. So be the first person I I figured that out and apologize for that. Right. Um, and so have you found that, uh, asking for forgiveness is, is uh, being the first one to do that? Is that, is that always easy though?
Sadaf: Um, no, it's not always easy, especially when you feel like you've been wronged. Um, but I think stepping out and taking that first step, it's always the hardest. And once you've started speaking, I feel like it just starts getting easy then, because you just, you know, the situation, it, the, the tension just kind of melts and all of a sudden there's room to speak and, and to share.
Matt: yeah. No, there is totally. Matt's put in the comments. How are you still married? She must be so forgiving. Uh, no. She is Matt, hence the reason I am still married. She is a very gracious lady. Let me tell you, uh, my wife is a beautiful person. Um, So, yeah, so I, I think you're right. I, i this idea of humility, the ability to deal with conflict is to go, actually, what can I own in this?
What can I take responsibility for? Um, very rarely have I ever found a situation where it was totally not my fault. Do you know what I mean? Even in something where it's like 90, 98%, the other person. We've been dealing with something that, I mean, Sadaf, you know, but I won't share it on the airwaves cuz we're still going through it.
Um, but we've been dealing with something where, um, all kinds of stuff came up. Uh, and, um, not me and Sharon just wanna point that out. This is somebody who has, uh, directed their particular reft of anger towards me in one particular way or another. And even though it came outta nowhere, I still look at that and go, Lord, what can I learn from this?
What, where, what can I own? What can I, um, What can you teach me? What do I need to accept responsibility for here? Because even though it came out of the blue, have I done everything right in that scenario? God, you know what, what's going on here? And so, um, I think you can do that in any situation of conflict.
It's not always easy, especially if you're mad. Right? Do you have a hot temper?
Sadaf: Yeah, I can, I can have a hot temper. Yep.
Matt: Jeff, in the other room going, yeah. Matt, you have no idea. And do you find, do you find when you, when you lose your temper, when you get, you know, a bit hotheaded, um, actually hard to see clearly sometimes maybe what you need to see?
Sadaf: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I think by that point, you're so caught up in yourself and in how you are feeling and how you've been wronged and you know, what, what justice should look like, that you are not, um, yeah. You're not seeing clearly, like you say,
Matt: Yeah.
Sadaf: Hmm,
Matt: So what do you do in that situation?
Sadaf: calm down.
Matt: Hmm.
Sadaf: No. Um, walk away. walk away. Um, just clear my head and then approach it, sleep on it or, yeah. Depending on what the situation is really. But yeah.
Matt: Yeah. It's amazing, isn't it? I was noting down even just an email that was sent to me and I responded to it, just that even with email, it's such a sensible thing. Don't send it straight away. Sit on it. Let it stew for a little while and then reread it, rethink about it. It's the same with conversations, isn't it?
In, in situations like that sometimes it's not a bad thing just to walk away and get some perspective.
Sadaf: Yeah. Yeah.
Matt: do you ever find, uh, I'm just getting into your personal life now, Sadaf, welcome to Crowd church, yeah. All the bits we didn't cover. Um, do you ever find that, um, perspective is so diff difficult to find though. So what, what do I mean by that? So you're in a situation, it's not always easy to see what perspective should be. Um, and so, I mean, I, I'm in situations like that on a fairly regular basis, so I normally go and talk to Dave, actually Dave Connolly, uh, the guy that did the talk because I mean, the guy's been pastoring, you know, for years.
And so he is, he's got a lot of experience in this whole thing. And so often I'll go and talk to people and, and get perspective, uh, especially if I can't see it, if I think it's like hard to do, you know?
Sadaf: Hmm.
Matt: So question for you. Uh, this is a, uh, question in the comments, having been in conflict long term with family, should I just leave them to their own drama and just live my own life? Or should I try and confront the situation head on again? What's your council?
Sadaf: My counsel would be, um, well, I don't think I have any, I think I would need a more information. I'd be too afraid to tell you to do something and then you go and make it worse.
Matt: Because that's never happened. Let's talk options. What? I mean, there's, it's interesting one, isn't it? When you, um, with long-term conflict with lo you know, family especially is easy to have, I think long-term conflict with. Um, and what do you do in situations like that? And I, I don't know if there's a right or wrong answer. Um, I just know that every situation is unique, but I know that the grace of God is such that any situation can be redeemed,
Sadaf: yeah.
Matt: Do you know what I mean? So, um, uh, recently been speaking, um, we, I've, I talked to various people as you do with Crowd and I, uh, you know, when relationships break down marriage relationships, the conflict is so great that the couples see no way forward, right?
And so, uh, separation or divorce is the only way up. Um, And that's all they can see in their head. And I think this is what happens when you get deeper and deeper into conflict like that, is that the only way out in your mind is to go, I'm out. I don't want anything more to do with this situation. And I totally get it.
I mean, I was, um, you know, I, I've had that with a business partner where the conflict was so bad. I think it was just like, I'm out. I, I don't, I, I don't, I don't want anymore to do with this. And for a season actually, it's probably not a bad thing for, for me to get out and not have to deal with that or think about that.
But again, coming, not saying everything I do is right, which wanna preface everything, with that statement. Um, but doing what you said, just getting some space, getting some perspective. And, um, and just seeing what God said, you know, on the whole matter. But I think to remember that whatever situation we're in, That it is not beyond the redemption of God.
And I think fundamentally that has to be the, the aim. You know, God is a minister of reconciliation. He is a minister of redemption, and ultimately I think that has to be our Prayer,
Sadaf: Mm-hmm.
Matt: is that these things get redeemed. Do you know what I mean, I dunno if that makes sense. That
Sadaf: no, it does make sense. No, I, it does make sense. And I think I would add to that, that, um, it's not about necessarily even this question, it's not necessarily about being right or wrong.
Matt: Mm-hmm.
Sadaf: It's about coming to a, a solution that that works. And, um, and maybe even, even, well, yeah, the, what's the purpose of it like is to glorify God. So whatever way you resolve that or however you handle it, it needs to be glorifying to God.
Matt: Yeah. It's in a Christ-like manner, isn't it? That's the question. How do you do it in a Christ-like manner that was put in the comments. How do you do that? Um, and I think I, there's a beautiful thing about Christianity, um, is we are led by the spirit of God. Cause we are children of God because there's not a formula for everything.
Uh, uh, as we all know, as we've all lived for a little while. This is, if I do A, B and C, it doesn't mean I'm necessarily gonna get D, right? It just doesn't, uh, it doesn't mean that D's gonna follow. So, um, so yeah, it's an interesting one, isn't it? Uh, it is interesting. So one of the things that Dave said, uh, which I thought was interesting right at the start was he talked about how there was these two set of Jews, two sets of Jews, right?
Uh, two parts of the Jewish faith. And, um, one community looked down on the other community. I think that was a phrase that he used. That's what I. Uh, I, I put in my notes here that they were looking down, um, and conflict arose. And I find that conflict tends to arise when we as people look metaphorically down on somebody else.
In other words, when we perceive that we are right and they are wrong and we elevate our own ideals, that that can create an element of conflict. And this comes back to the humility thing that you were talking about, isn't it? To actually go, maybe I'm, I'm not totally right here, but I'm sorry. It was an interesting observation, um, that, you know, that they were, they were looking down on each other.
Um, what else stood out from Dave's talk for you?
Sadaf: Um, I think the other thing was, um, the way the apostles approached it,
Matt: Mm-hmm.
Sadaf: how they handled it, their, um, they, they, they resolved the situation for the, the Grecian Jews and the Hebrew Jews. And, um, yet they, they wanted someone, like, they personally didn't get involved in that. They got people from the community to be able to be a part of that.
And, um, but they, their focus was on, uh, preaching and on praying. Their, their ministry didn't change in any of that. They didn't stop doing what they were doing to, you know, completely help these people. They, they set up, they, they raised other people to do that. And I think that for me, the, the fact that there is so much, um, that there was emphasis on the fact that they continued to pray and preach, um, shows that they, they were really, they were there first and foremost to glorify God
Matt: mm.
Sadaf: and that that was their, that was their main focus, and that's what they were gonna do. And when, as the conflicts arose, they, they met the needs, but they carried on doing what they were called to do. I,
Matt: Yeah.
Sadaf: yeah, I, I really like that. I, I think sometimes we lose focus and we start getting involved in other things that are, you know, they might be important, but they're never as important as, um, having that time with the Lord and reading our Bibles and, and praying and walking in step with him. Yeah. I think for me that was something that I would take away.
Matt: Yeah. It's a really powerful point, isn't it? And I, and I, and I agree with you. I think, um, there's something about just being men and women of God's word, men and women of Prayer, that is gonna help you, uh, win these things. Dave made a really interesting comment, didn't he? I, I, I saw that it was put in the, in the comments, let me see if I can find it here.
Um, whatever you stand to gain in this conflict if you win, does not come close to matching what we're gonna lose, um, if this thing is not resolved. And I, I think it's, um, think it's an interesting thing with conflict that sometimes it doesn't matter if you are right, what matters. And it doesn't matter if you win, it's more about what you gain, what you stand to lose in this whole situation.
And actually that perspective,
Sadaf: Hmm.
Matt: is hard to understand if you, if you're outside the context of scripture and Prayer, right? So I think, um, I think as you, as you're going through conflict, which inevitably you're gonna do, cuz that's just life, right? You're gonna, you know, you're gonna meet people. You are not a perfect person.
And sorry to spoiler alert, but no, I'm not. You are not. This is the way it is. So there's gonna be conflict, right? Um, And so, but in that there's an opportunity for growth for both people. And, um, when we, when we see it that way and try and see what God's saying in that whole situation, some really interesting things happen.
And that would be my testimony in my marriage actually, that actually it's not about me being right or Sharon being wrong normally it's Sharon being right and me being wrong to be fair. Um, but it's not about that. It's about actually how can we grow together in this Right and put aside and need to be right, uh, and grow as a couple in the whole thing.
Um, Interesting, interesting. So in what ways, I'm just reading the questions here. In what ways can conflict be a catalyst for growth, understanding and deeper relationships? Any thoughts on that one?
Sadaf: Well, just what you were saying right now, like in your, you know, you were, you were testifying to how it's been in your, in your marriage. And I think when, when you make a habit of it, when you are, when you make a habit of, of being humble and forgiving and acting in love in these situations, it becomes easier.
And that's where growth happens. The more you like, you know, it's a, it's not so much about being right, but it's about what you might stand to, to lose in it. The more you grasp that, I think that's where growth happens. And, um, and humility. I mean, we all need that and we all need wisdom and, and, you know, to be able to know where, where we've gone wrong and where we can ask for forgiveness.
And I think, um, that, that in itself is quite stretching, isn't it?
Matt: Yeah, it is. There's this really interesting, um, scripture and I, I'm desperately trying to remember where it is somewhere in the Bible cuz it's a scripture. Uh, and Paul wrote it, so it's in one of the Pauline letters. Um, and he talked about how as Christians at the time, it was a really interesting, I really should study it more because it's, it is fascinating idea of, um, things had gotten so bad between some Christians they, there were so much conflict and so much quarreling that they took each other to court
Sadaf: Hmm.
Matt: allow the court to decide and rule on the matter. And, um, this I just find fascinating, especially given the litigious society in which we live. And Paul said, why are you doing this? Why are you going to court?
Is it not better to be wronged? Uh, Than bring your affairs to someone, to something to someone outside the church. Why are you doing that? I'm gonna find the scripture. Uh, I'm gonna Google it. Where did I, I should know this. I, I pastor a church. I'm very sorry about my poor Bible knowledge.
Sadaf: Isn't it something in Matthew about settling our differences privately? Is that what you mean? Is that
Matt: yeah, cuz Jesus talked about it as well, didn't he?
Um, he did, he did talk about it as well. But Paul, um, Paul talked about this in some really, one Corinthians six 12, I think it is. Let me pull up my Bible, one Corinthians six 12 And no, I don't think that's it. Okay. Uh oh. Here we go. It's just a few verses before, therefore have you, so if any of you have has a dispute with one another, right? So talking about conflict, so this is one Corinthians chapter six. This is Paul writing to the Corinthians Church, and I'm gonna read it from, oh, let's go with the message translation. Uh, because it's really interesting.
And how dare you take each other to court says the message translation. Uh, when you think you have been wrong, does it make any sense to go before a court that knows nothing of God's ways instead of a family of Christians, the day is coming when the world is gonna stand before a jury made up of Christians.
If someday you are going to rule on the world's fate, would it be a good idea to practice on some of these smaller cases? It's where you really gotta enjoy the message translation, uh, why we're even gonna judge angels. So why not these everyday affairs Are these disagreements and wrongs surface. Why would you ever entrust them to the judgment of people you don't trust in any other way?
I say this as bluntly as I can to wake you up to the stupidity of what you are doing. Uh, it is possible that there isn't one levelheaded person among you. Paul's on one now. I mean, uh, you know, talk about confrontation. Um, Who can make fair decisions when disagreements and disputes come up. I don't believe it.
And here you are taking each other court to court before people who don't even believe in God. How can they render justice if they don't believe in the God of justice? Um, these court cases are an ugly block on your community. Wouldn't it be far better just to take it, to let yourself be wronged and forget it?
And that's a phrase that I, I I really want to hone in on. Wouldn't it just be better to let yourselves be wronged and forget it? All you are doing is providing fuel for more wrong, more injustice, bringing more hurt to the people of your own spiritual family. And I think it's a really interesting idea, isn't it?
This idea of, um, and I'm not saying that in all cases you shouldn't. Court action may be something that has to happen. Yes, there are cases and arguments for that according to scripture, especially if someone's acting like an believer. But first and foremost, when it comes to a lot of conflict in church and a lot of conflict with the people that we're, um, that we're having, man alive, why are we so quick to go to court?
Why are we so quick to go and talk to our friends and gossip about it? Why are we so quick to shout upon social media about these things? Um, do we not realize that's a blot on the community? Rather let yourselves be wronged? I think that's powerful stuff, isn't it? Because conflict ultimately comes down to I need to be right.
Sadaf: Mm-hmm.
Matt: Whereas what Paul is saying here is maybe it's just better to be wronged. I dunno if you've ever come across that in your life, Sadaf.
Sadaf: What? Me needing to be right?
Matt: I'm not saying I'm, I'm just pinning that question out there.
Sadaf: Yeah. I, I agree. I think, um, It's that need to elevate yourself
Matt: Mm-hmm.
Sadaf: and to, um, somehow prove that you are the bigger person, but actually in doing that, you're not.
Matt: Mm-hmm.
Sadaf: Um, yeah,
Matt: Yeah, it's an interesting one, isn't it? interesting one. So in what ways can, uh, conflict be a catalyst for growth? Again, humility. The desire not to always be right and win. Um, the ability to go, I'll be wronged in this situation because I'd rather do what God's telling me to do, if I'm honest with you.
Sadaf: yeah,
Matt: and I think it's, um, it's a sensible approach. Now, there are. Let me just caveat everything that we've just said with, there are times and there are versions of conflict it makes sense not to do that. And I'm thinking specifically about conflict that you would class as abuse, that escalates to abuse, um, and that kind of level.
Uh, I'm not saying you should be wronged in that situation at all. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just talking about general sort of life and,
Sadaf: Yeah.
Matt: and contractual type stuff.
Sadaf: Yeah.
Matt: there are times when actually it makes sense to get out, um,
Sadaf: Hmm,
Matt: maybe can't be restored right now. Um, and the Bible talks about cutting things off so that it bears more fruit. Maybe now is the time to,
Sadaf: Hmm.
Matt: uh, and that relationship for a little bit. I don't know. You know, there's, there's all kinds of nuances to all of this, but as a general rule,
Sadaf: Yeah.
Matt: makes a lot of sense, right.
Sadaf: Yeah, actually, you know, going back to what you were talking about earlier just now, um, I thought of something else that our, we have this need to be seen and to elevate ourselves. So we talk about it to other people, we gossip about it. But I think there's also, um, there's this space that, that we need to, um, look at where we know the Lord knows the situation.
You know, in our hearts, if some someone has done something, grieved us in some way, harmed us in some way, um, the Lord knows. And for us to quietly have that forgive them and have that, that conversation in private is okay. And even if sometimes you're not even able to have a conversation, you know, depending on the circumstances, but to let go and to forgive them in the Lord's presence is enough.
Matt: Yeah.
Sadaf: And I think sometimes we feel like we need to tell everybody, well, this happened to me and look what I did. I was so great. I went and said sorry to them. And you know, even though they wrong me and you know, all that kind of stuff. But I think to the Lord to be mindful of the fact that the Lord knows the Lord is very much present and, um, he's the only audience you need.
Matt: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. No, it's such a true statement. Uh, Simon's in the comments, uh, big thank you. Oh, well, and it's great to have you here. Uh, great to have you, Simon, in the feed. Um, I've had conflict with so many brothers and sisters of Christ. Grace is the key, says Matt. Yes, I think it is Matthew.
Uh, grace is very much part of it. and all the stuff that we've been talking about. You know, uh, Dave talked about the key mission, didn't he talked about how the apostles understood what they were actually there for, and they didn't want to get in the way of the mission,
Sadaf: Mm-hmm.
Matt: uh, and vision and having that vision, which says, no, no, no, we're, we're here to win people. We're here to glorify God. Like you, you know, uh, it, um, it drives everything really, which is, which is a key to it all. Uh, it is a key to it all. So, Hopefully you have enjoyed this conversation on conflict. Uh, it's quite a fascinating one, really, um, because there are so many different levels and so many different nuances to this whole thing, but there are principles to cover just about everything in the Bible, uh, when we really dig into it.
And so that for me is the key. What, what's, uh, God leading you to do in that situation? Uh, and, uh, wwjd, what would Jesus do in that situation? Would he turn over the table and get out the whip, chase you out the house? I don't think he would. Um, No, no. Let me not be flippant, uh, with the good scriptures. So, um, yeah, conflict. Hope you've enjoyed that conversation. That's gonna be the end of Conversation Street for this week. I really like Conversation Street. Conversation Street is something that we do every week.
Uh, we just talk about the talk and what you guys write in the comments, the questions, the stories, anything you wanna share. So if you're watching this on catch up, or you're listening to in this on the podcast, why not come join us Live every Sunday? More information is on the website, www.crowd.church.
There's even a little link, which will help you figure out what time zone, uh, the broadcast is in for you. If you're not in the uk, it's 6:00 PM at the moment here in the uk. Um, but if you're outside of the uk, they'll tell you, uh, 1:00 PM Eastern. Uh, All kinds of different time zones on there. So it'd be great to see you in the livestream.
Do come and join us. Do come and join in Conversation. Street, uh, what's happening next week? Uh, I'm being prompted to ask. This is a good question. What is happening next week? Uh, I'm just checking. Oh, it's me. Uh, I'm speaking next week. How to standup For what's right? Oh, yes. We are starting to enter the story of Stephen.
That's the next part of the scripture. So for the next three weeks, we're gonna be looking at the story of Stephen. Stephen, just spoiler alert, Stephen is Martyred. So, uh, we're gonna look at that, um, and not necessarily how to get martyred. Uh, that's not the, that's not the aim for the next three weeks, but certainly there's a lot we can learn in Stephen's story.
And next week I'm looking at how to stand up for what's right. We've then got John Sloan coming in to talk about the middle part, which is the trial, the bit where they're in court. Um, and then, uh, speaking of court actually, and then, uh, Pete Farrington is bringing, It all together, with transformed by grace. So he's bringing the, the sort of the lessons from Steven together and then the week after that, we are getting into the rest of the Book of Acts.
So yes, uh, that is what's happening next week. And you are hosting again next week, aren't you? So, uh, you're going to hear my voice. You have to get, I'm really sorry about this. You must spend so much of your life listening to my voice and I'm very, very sorry. Uh, so yeah, do come join us next week if you have yet to follow us.
Uh, do head over to YouTube, click the subscribe notification and click the little bell icon, which tells you when we're going live. Go to the website, www.crowd.church, sign up to the newsletter. Um, and we send out two emails a week, which you can get, uh, one about the middle of the week just with catch up and, and stuff.
And then we send you a little email when we're live. Just to remind you, we're live, come and join in and you can do that on the website, www.crowd.church, right? What else do I need to do. Promote the midweek community groups. You can do that Sadaf if you like.
Sadaf: Um, no, I don't think I'm good to do this.
Matt: Yeah. To be fair, I just bring that one upon you. I should probably give you the information next time. Uh, I was just curious to see if you could wing it. Yeah, yeah, well done. Uh, so, uh, which is the middle of the week, so yeah, midweek, if you would like to join us, uh, online in the Zoom call, it'd be great to meet you. We just have community groups where we catch up, uh, with one another, chat about what God's doing and pray together. Uh, you don't have to be a Christian to come along.
Uh, if you've got any question, uh, questions, any questions about the Christian faith please let me put my teeth back in. If you have any questions about the Christian faith, we would like to talk to somebody. Come join us in the Zoom meetings. We'd love to help, uh, help you find Jesus, uh, and understand more about him.
So that is available if you'd like to know more about those, uh, again, information on the website, www.crowd.church. Or you can reach out to us on social media @Crowd Church. Um, on the website there is a number, a WhatsApp number. Send us a little WhatsApp message and we will send you the Zoom link.
Uh, I think that's, uh, anything else I need to promote? I, I think that's everything, isn't it? Yes. I think that's everything. So, um,
Sadaf: Checking messages to see if there's anything left.
Matt: you know what, I, I used to have a checklist of things that I'd go through, and then I thought, I don't need that anymore, cuz Matt will tell me in the comments. He's become like, uh, the Crowd secretary or the Crowd, uh, sort of, uh, administrator, which is just a beautiful thing. And Matt's hot. Matt is on, on fire, so yes. Uh, yeah. It's been really good to connect with you all. Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for that, Andy. Have a good one. Yourself, my friend. Uh, and everybody else has been active in the comments today.
It's been great to see you in there. Thank you so much for joining us. Have a fantastic week wherever you are. Anything else from you Sadaf, before we sign off?
Sadaf: No. No
Matt: Nope.
Sadaf: Yeah.
Matt: Thanks to Sadaf for the amaz amazing hosting, uh, says Matt. Oh, there was one question that came in Sadaf I did need to ask you. Um, I, that was the question.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was your party trick? Uh, you don't have a party trick. I don't believe that to be true. One minute You must have something, not a card trick or anything.
Sadaf: No. No.
Matt: Nah. Okay. Fair enough. Alright, we'll let you off the hook. Uh, so that was just one of the random questions that comes in on the comments, which other, actually, I don't know.
I'll ask that question. Um, so yeah, thank you so much for joining us. Uh, have a fantastic week wherever you are. Uh, we'll see you next time. Bye for now.
Thank you so much for joining us here on Crowd Church. Now if you are watching on YouTube, make sure you hit the subscribe button as well as that little tiny bell notification to get notified the next time we are live. And of course, If you are listening to the podcast, uh, the Livestream podcast, make sure you also hit the follow button. Now by smashing the like button on YouTube or writing a review on your podcast platform.
It helps us reach more people with the message that Jesus really does help us live a more meaningful and purposeful life. So if you haven't done so already, be sure to check out our website, www.crowd.church, where you can learn more about us as a church, more about the Christian faith, and also how to connect into our church community.
It has been awesome to connect with you, and you are awesome. It's just a burden you have to bear. And hopefully we'll see you next time. That's it from us. God bless you. Bye for now.