When Infertility Becomes a Doorway, Not a Dead End

What's the Story
Written By Matt Edmundson

Guest: Kim Patton

Kim Patton is an adoptive and foster mama living in North Carolina with her husband Kevin and two daughters; Eden and Shiloh.

She writes for Waiting in Hope Infertility ministry, and Her View from Home, and has also been host of the Book Therapy Podcast since 2022.

Her second book, "Nothing Wasted: Struggling Well through Difficult Seasons" encourages readers to recognize personal growth amidst hard times.

In her free time, she can usually be found reading a memoir, taking her girls to the playground, or playing tennis with her husband.

Here’s a summary of this week’s story:

Anna Kettle speaks with Kim Patton, an adoptive and foster mother whose journey through infertility unexpectedly led her to a life of profound purpose. Kim shares how ten difficult years of waiting for pregnancy didn't end her dreams of motherhood but became a doorway to adopting two biological sisters and eventually working alongside her husband in residential care for teenage girls. She candidly discusses her struggles with anxiety, her initial resistance to adoption, and how God's patient transformation of her heart led to her embracing a life she never imagined. Through stories of moving across multiple states, managing a household with toddlers and teenagers, and finding strength in daily surrender, Kim reveals how the most difficult seasons can be worked together for good.

Key Takeaways

1. Embrace the process of surrender rather than fighting against it

Kim's journey demonstrates how becoming a "living sacrifice" isn't about instant transformation but gradual heart change. Initially resistant to foster care and adoption, she describes how God worked patiently with her, beginning with a tearful foster care seminar where she "cried 90% of the whole three hours." This willingness to be present at the foster care information session, even reluctantly, allowed God to "break her heart" and eventually transform her desires. For listeners facing unwanted life circumstances, Kim's story offers permission to acknowledge the difficulty while remaining open to how God might be reshaping desires and perspectives.

2. Find practical ways to practice dependence on God in overwhelming moments

Rather than trying to handle everything through willpower, Kim shares tangible ways she practices "absolute dependence on God" in chaotic daily life. From turning on worship music while cooking to setting boundaries by saying "I'd love to help you with your homework, but I can't right now," she illustrates how relying on God looks in practice. For listeners dealing with anxiety or overwhelm, these small but significant acts of surrender provide a roadmap for moving from self-sufficiency to God-dependency, preventing burnout and cultivating sustainable service.

3. Build a support system of prayer partners who can journey with you

Through major life transitions, Kim highlighted the importance of her "prayer friends" who supported her family's ministry with teenagers. By consistently updating specific trusted people about challenges and needs, she created a community that not only supported her but also found their own faith strengthened through witnessing God's work. Kim emphasizes that even when physically distant, these connections provided crucial spiritual and emotional support, showing listeners the value of cultivating intentional prayer relationships during difficult seasons.

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  • Sadaf Beynon

    00:00:00.960 - 00:01:13.300

    Hey there, and welcome to What's the Story? We're an inquisitive bunch of hosts on a mission to uncover stories about faith and courage from everyday people.

    In doing that, we get the privilege of chatting with amazing guests and have the opportunity to delve into their faith journey, the hurdles they've overcome, and the life lessons they've learned along the way.

    If you enjoy our podcast, don't forget to subscribe and sign up for our weekly newsletter at our website, whatsthestorypodcast.com it's your direct line to the latest episodes and detailed show notes delivered straight to your inbox. What's the Story is brought to you by Crowd Church, who fully understand that stepping into a traditional church might not be everyone's cup of Joe.

    Crowd Church provides a digital sanctuary, a safe space to explore the Christian faith, where you can engage in meaningful conversations rather than just simply spectating. So whether you're new to the Christian faith or in search of a new church family, visit Crowd Church.

    And if you have any questions, just drop them an email to hellod Church. They would love to connect with you. And now let's meet your host and our special guest for today.

    Anna Kettle

    00:01:14.000 - 00:02:08.592

    So, hi there. Welcome to today's what's the Story podcast. I'm Anna Kettle, your host for today, and I'm joined by Kim Patton.

    Now, Kim is an adoptive and foster mama living in North Carolina, USA, with husband Kevin and two daughters, Eden and Shila. She writes for the Waiting for Hope Infertility ministry, which is a really awesome ministry. If you haven't seen it before, you should check it out.

    And also her view from home. Anne has been the host of the Book therapy podcast since 2022, which is pretty cool.

    Her most recent book, Nothing Wasted Struggling well Through Difficult Seasons, encourages readers to recognize personal growth amidst hard times. And in her free time, she can usually be found reading a memoir, taking her girls to the playground, or playing tennis with her husband.

    So welcome, Kim. It's good to have you on today.

    Kim Patton

    00:02:08.696 - 00:02:10.080

    Thank you. I'm happy to be here.

    Anna Kettle

    00:02:10.120 - 00:02:33.218

    Yeah, it's great to have you. And I'd just like to say I'm a big book fan and tennis fan as well. I love to play tennis. So, yeah, we have lots in common.

    So I guess we should start at the beginning of the story, then start right from the top. Okay. So tell us, how did you first come to faith? Like, is it something you grew up with? Did you come to it later in life?

    Tell us how things began for you.

    Kim Patton

    00:02:33.274 - 00:05:06.106

    I did grow up in A Christian home. That was a privilege that I don't take for granted. I have two loving parents and I actually have six brothers.

    So my parents drug us all to church Sunday, Wednesday. And I did not love wearing the tights and the skirts, but I did love being surrounded by people.

    Love, faith, all of that just fit right into who God made me to be. I didn't struggle a lot with faith until I was a teenager.

    I had the beliefs, I had the grounding, you know, in Jesus, but I didn't have the call to really be a disciple no matter what. So when I found myself in a group of friends that were making some decisions that I knew weren't what I wanted to be, they.

    They called themselves Christians too. But I could just tell there was an uneasiness about it that I thought, you know what? I want to be their friend more than I want to serve God.

    And I know that that's a red flag. But I had to give them up.

    And I wanted so badly to be a part of their friend group that giving up their friendship and that click was really hard for me. But God made it easy. Our high school split.

    We all had to make the decision to go to a brand new high school and be a part of, you know, the first graduating class or stay. And I stayed and I lost all my friends. But God really blessed that.

    And that was kind of the beginning of my journey of really serving him no matter what.

    And then I've been through so much since I was 14, more than I would ever have guessed, and more heartbreak and more pain and suffering, honestly, than I expected as a Christian. So my adult life has been tumultuous, but God has been faithful. My husband has been faithful.

    And I think I'm at a place now in my mid-30s where there's a lot of clarity, there's a lot of peace. I think I've struggled, struggled, struggled, struggled for years. And I'm not saying I don't struggle anymore.

    I'm just saying that I have more clarity and peace and God has really been faithful. And I feel like some things are clicking that I've been searching for for a long time.

    Anna Kettle

    00:05:06.238 - 00:05:41.992

    That's awesome. That's an awesome summary. I mean, obviously you touched on there that life isn't always easy when you're a Christian, right?

    You've had lots of ups and downs throughout your life up to this point. And I guess there's a clue even in the fact that you've written this book called Nothing Wasted.

    Struggling well, which is all about struggling well in difficult seasons. Right. So there's a clue there that life hasn't always been a breeze.

    But, I mean, could you maybe just like, pick out one or two of the key challenges you faced in life up to now? Tell us kind of a little bit about that.

    Kim Patton

    00:05:42.096 - 00:07:49.010

    My health, unfortunately, has not been super great. I've struggled with a lot of physical ailments since I was 18 years old, is when it started. When I was in college, I would say.

    Before then, it was mainly, like, allergies, which did affect my childhood. But I didn't have a lot of health issues when I was growing up.

    But I did, starting at 18 years old, really start to struggle with feeling unwell on a regular basis and having a very bad relationship with food because food made me sick. So I believe, looking back, that it was more of anxiety and physical.

    So the anxiety kind of affected the way I, you know, had this relationship with food. And. And what I mean by that is when food made me sick, it made me hate food.

    And that sounds ridiculous because so many people love food, but when something makes you feel miserable, you no longer feel safe.

    And so a lot of my twenties was just trying to figure out how my body could process a healthy diet and how I could work through my anxiety to where I could eat well and also feel well. And, I mean, it was not easy to navigate because the anxiety was crippling.

    I would feel that weight on my chest, and I'd just be watching TV with my husband on a Tuesday night, and the weight on my chest was just suffocating and trying to figure out the right career. I think also had a big part of it, the anxiety of needing to earn money, and then, you know, struggling to want a family, want to be a mom.

    And yet the children weren't coming. And so I was just kind of spinning my wheels, trying to put myself out there in different careers.

    Anna Kettle

    00:07:49.090 - 00:08:13.180

    And that feeds into society as well, right? Doesn't it?

    Because these are all things that individually would cause anxiety as well, like not being able to have children, you know, dealing with infertility, that. That's enough to make anyone anxious and stressed. And then having health issues, you know, that's. That's a huge stress.

    Like, all of it is, like, it sounds like kind of stress on top of stress to me. Really.

    Kim Patton

    00:08:14.920 - 00:10:05.238

    That was really the. The breaking point was my doctor looked at me and he said, you need to quit your job. And I was like, I can't quit my job. Why are you. You're crazy.

    You can't just tell someone that you Know, to feel better, you have to quit your job. He's like, well, that's what it is. We've done all the tests. We've done everything. You. You.

    You don't do well with stress, so you need to figure out something. And I'm thinking, I can't. We have no money. Like, I have to make the money.

    And my husband was working, but we had been in seminary, and so I was used to being the only one with a job while he was in school. So I remember one day driving out to a women's retreat, and this is when we lived in Florida. It was beautiful.

    I was by myself, and I was talking to a friend on the phone, and I was just kind of listing all of the things that were burdening me. And at the tail end of that, I just said, and I can't get pregnant. And I don't know why.

    And I remember feeling so strong about that, so feisty, like all these things I'm struggling with, but I can't get pregnant. And that is the underlying stress of just not knowing how I'm going to become a mom, because I can't figure it out.

    So that kind of began our infertility journey. We started trying for kids in 2015. So as of this year, I have been off birth control for 10 years, and my body just.

    I mean, we kind of know why I can't get pregnant, but it also isn't completely proven. So I've never been pregnant, and I've always wanted to, but in these 10 years, it's kind of amazing that, you know, 20, 25 is 10 years.

    Anna Kettle

    00:10:05.374 - 00:10:07.320

    Time flies. Hey, yeah.

    Kim Patton

    00:10:07.400 - 00:10:33.096

    10 years. A whole decade of, you know, every month, you're just like, well, yeah, still. Still nothing.

    But I would say I'm at a different place now than I was five years ago, than I was three years ago. And there's an infinite amount of things God has taught me through our infertility journey.

    Anna Kettle

    00:10:33.208 - 00:11:31.094

    So, yeah, why don't you tell us a little bit about that then? Because obviously, you know, you're not one of these people that's like, oh, it's infertile.

    And then, you know, I couldn't have a baby for 10 years, and then God gave me a baby. Like, that's the answer. We prayed and prayed and waited and waited. And then the baby came. And I'm not making.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not making light of people.

    It's wonderful when God does that kind of physical healing, but actually, I also work, you know, and I know you do with a lot of people who are wrestling with infertility seasons in their lives. And more often than not, the answer doesn't come easily or quickly or at all.

    And so kind of, obviously, your situation hasn't changed in that respect. Like, you've not become a mother. Well, a birth mother. But, like, how has God changed you? Or how has your perspective on the situation changed?

    Like, how have you been know, how have you changed?

    Kim Patton

    00:11:31.222 - 00:17:47.062

    So the way I think about it is God calls Christians to sacrifice your life. You know, we're a living sacrifice. We know that. We just don't know what that means. In some ways, it would be easier to die.

    It would be easier to just say, God, I die for you. And then, you know, somebody shoots us, and then we are with him and we don't have to worry about anything anymore.

    But, yeah, I mean, let's just skip to the end. But God calls us to be a living sacrifice, and he calls us to be more like Christ, and he works so hard to make us more like Christ.

    So 10 years ago, I wanted a baby. Period. I wanted a baby. But God sees that. He holds that. He nurtures that. He honors that. But. But he did not give me what I wanted.

    He did not grant me pregnancy. However, he did something so much better. He made me more like Christ. He allowed my life to be a living sacrifice.

    He opened my eyes to the pain of the hurting and the broken and the orphan. And in my journey toward foster care and adoption, he has softened my heart.

    I cannot even tell you how much he has softened my heart, because when you start at a place where you say, like, I don't know if I can survive, if I can't get pregnant and have my own children, just kill me now. When you. That's where you start. And then, you know, my husband kind of worked on me. He said, hey, let's go to this foster care seminar.

    And I thought, I'm not getting out of the car. I'm just gonna sit here. You can go. And he. He held my hand, and he was so patient with me. And he said, I know this is hard. Let's do it together.

    And I walked by his side. I sat through the seminar. I cried 90% of the. The whole three hours we were there. I just cried because God was breaking my heart. There's a song.

    Give me your eyes so I can see. Give me your. Give me your ears like you want God to loan you his eyes so that you can see the broken through his lens rather than my own.

    And that day was the first kind of crack. I think after that day, God really opened things up. And I was more open to foster care and adoption than I had ever been.

    But the way God rewarded our faithfulness. And I mean, I will say that this, this doesn't happen in every case either.

    A lot of people who suffer with infertility do end up getting pregnant through IVF or medical procedures, but that wasn't the case for us. He did provide a way for me to have a baby, though, through adoption. So I was able to get my little newborn. And she was beautiful.

    We met the birth mother just a few weeks before she was born. And actually February 1, 2020, just a few days ago was when we first found out that the birth mother was pregnant with our little Eden.

    And to see how things have progressed, I spoke with Eden on February 1st, and I told her what February 1st meant to me. And she was not happy. She was a little bit confused. And she said, but, mama, why wasn't I in your tummy? And she's never said that to me before.

    As she gets older, she's about to turn five, she is a little bit more distanced, I think, from the whole adoption story. And I think my clue from that conversation is that she, we are her parents.

    And she does, you know, she knows Ashley and she, I'm sure she loves her, but she doesn't quite see how the puzzle fits together at this point. And she's old enough to figure out like, oh, this is what happened. This is where I came from. This is, this is the adoption triad.

    I think she's starting to figure it out. So we adopted Eden. And nine months later, Ashley texted me a pregnancy test and said, do you want another baby?

    And I was like, girl, I have your baby. And she was like, no, another one. I'm like, oh, my word. So I looked at Kevin and we had already had a conversation just earlier that month.

    We were like, well, if she does get pregnant, what are we going to do? And we just looked at each other and said, yeah, of course we're going to take a sibling. And God provided them money through house sales.

    So another misconception is that you have to have buckets of money to adopt. You do. But God provided for us. And I did get two sisters 15 months apart.

    And what followed was transitioning from infertility to new motherhood through Covid to two little babies. I had a 1 year old and a NICU baby. She wasn't even 5 pounds when we brought her home.

    So I had a 1 year old who had only been walking a few months and couldn't even talk in full sentences. And a little tiny five pounder that could only eat every three hours.

    So my life changed overnight and I kind of plunged into this new journey of being a mama of two under two through Covid.

    Anna Kettle

    00:17:47.166 - 00:18:37.078

    Wow, that is a big change of life and a crazy time to do it, but also kind of amazing too. Like, I love the fact that. And they're actually like birth sisters. Like, I love, I love.

    I didn't realize that about your little girls, actually, that, that is so lovely. And yeah, just kind of like the timing, like, just strikes me that God's timing is perfect.

    And that actually I love the fact that you're really honest about the fact that you went instantly like, I really want to adopt or foster.

    And you know, that it was definitely a process that God took you through of becoming more okay with it and like just starting to push those doors and letting God lead you and just becoming more open to other ways of becoming a parent. Yeah, I just, I love the fact that you were kind of just open to God and that he just did it.

    Kim Patton

    00:18:37.214 - 00:20:37.530

    Yeah, he's faithful. And they are sisters. They're double sisters. They're birth sisters and adoptive sisters.

    And I love it when strangers ask me if they're twins because I'm like, yes, they are as much work as twins. So please give me all the credit. You know, an Amazon gift card.

    I mean, just keep it coming because it's been a lot and they, they are super high energy. I mean, a lot of toddlers are. My older one is doing cartwheels non stop now. I mean, she just, she just does cartwheels every.

    Like this morning I saw her for a half an hour and she was doing cartwheels for 50% of the time. Just as we were talking right there, just right there in my kitchen, you know, just flipping around.

    And then my other one has some sensory sensitivities.

    And so she's always like bumping into things and rubbing her body against things and she's flopping around and falling and she's just needing constant sensory input. And so she's been to occupational therapy before and we're looking into doing that again.

    So I think that she has some different needs that we're aware of, but we don't have the resources yet to kind of figure out exactly like how to help her. So we're always like, Kevin and I are always googling all the things. You know, we've gotten this seat that spins. It's called a.

    It's we call it the fishy seat because it's a green fish and she'll sit in that and just spin in front of the TV in the living room. And we moved from South Carolina to North Carolina and it's in storage. And I keep looking at Kevin and I'm like, where's the fishy seat?

    I need the fishy seat. She needs the fishy seat.

    Anna Kettle

    00:20:38.820 - 00:21:22.474

    Yeah. I mean, yeah, you touched on it there. You know, often, like, fostering and adopting isn't an easy thing. I mean, parenting is always challenging.

    Right. And I think parenting children who've had trauma in their background or difficulties early in life is like, doubly hard.

    But yeah, we were talking about it just before you went on air, actually, and you were sort of talking about how God kind of equips you, you know, for what you think you can't do. And would you just tell us a bit more about that? About how, like, you don't feel like you're able to do this, but God's helping you to enabling to.

    Yeah, I don't want to put the words in your mouth, but yeah.

    Kim Patton

    00:21:22.522 - 00:28:56.026

    Well, that's basically what it is. I like to use the word impossible because I'm a drama queen. I. I do feel like God calls us to do impossible things. You know, it could be anything.

    It could be the death of a parent when you weren't expecting it.

    It could be caring for aging parents, children with special needs, even a job that, you know, you have a co worker or a boss who is treating you badly or disrespectful, or even spreading lies about you behind your back. There's so many situations where we say, lord, I can't do this. I don't know who you think you called, but I'm dying.

    And for me, with my anxiety, I always felt like my anxiety was a little bit different than other. And maybe this is just a symptom of being a human. We always think that we're the unique case.

    But when I hear anxiety, I think of people who have social anxiety, who can't be around others without having a hard time. And that is valid. That is a type of anxiety.

    My anxiety comes from overwhelm, pushing myself too hard, doing too many things, people pleasing and then having to backtrack and also just physically not knowing how to rest.

    So it's really easy for me to surround myself with people and things and keeping busy and then never taking care of my physical body, never stepping away to say my body is telling me I need to be by myself. Not that I want to do that. It's that my physical body is saying, you are overwhelmed. You need to step away. So God calls us to do impossible things.

    When God told my husband, bless his heart, to look for a job where we would live in a foster home, I think that he. I think that God gave my husband the boldness to lead our family without necessarily having my approval, because God spoke to my husband.

    And my job is to respect and honor and trust my husband, who respects and honors and trusts and serves God. When I was raising my two little babies in Georgia, I was having a hard time because I was feeling very isolated from the world.

    And I didn't really like the stay at home model because it seemed like all the other moms were doing better at the stay at home model. They were raising chickens. They were enjoying their country life. They were enjoying not leaving the house. They were making bread.

    And I was just like, oh, I don't like any of those things. Like, don't give me chickens. I do not want to make bread. I don't even like the taste of homemade bread. I'm sorry to the world, don't kill me.

    But it just. It didn't fit me. And I wanted to be with people. So I started working at a preschool. And that was when Kevin started looking for a job.

    And he found a job in South Carolina where we would pack up and move our whole family. Eden was three and Shiloh was two and a half. So two toddlers moving across the state to.

    Well, to another state to live in a cottage full of up to eight teenage girls for one week at a time, 24, seven. And then we would live in an off duty house for. With just our family for a week. So when he proposed this to me, I.

    And this is kind of sensitive because it's still kind of fresh. It only happened a year and a couple of months ago. So God worked on my heart again. I believe that he softened my heart.

    Once we visited the campus and I met the teenagers and I met the staff, I felt like, yeah, this is a place I would feel comfortable living. And I just. I already loved the teenagers. I had only met like three of them, and I just instantly felt like it was youth group all over again.

    And I loved when we worked in youth group, the teenagers just were awesome. It was just so much fun. So a lot of people say, like, how can you work with teenage girls? And I'm like, they're fun. I just, I love the energy.

    Yeah, they're teenage girls, but I love it. So I Didn't know that at the time, though. So we moved, and we spent 2024 from January to December with teenagers.

    And these teenagers are from hard places. There are many who have lost family members, many who. They're. They've suffered a lot of trauma. They've suffered a lot of abuse.

    And their stories, it's unbelievable what people go through. It's unbelievable the way that adults treat children. So they're 16, 17 years old. They've, like, this is nothing new.

    They've been in foster care for some of them, six, seven, 10 years. By the end of 2024, God called us to another ministry. So we moved to North Carolina, and we are still working with teenage girls.

    And this time around, I'm so proud of myself. I'm so proud of how God has grown me in just one year. And I have a new batch of teenage girls. And they're adorable.

    Right now we're off, and we'll go back on duty on Tuesday, and we're gonna get more teenagers. We only have a couple right now. They're starting to fill the house back up. But my perspective now going into this job is, like, reality.

    I know what I'm getting into. I know what I'm signing up for. The supervisors are kind of looking at us like, hey, how's it going? And we're like, yeah, it is what it is.

    Like, we're here. We love them already. We don't expect them to love us back.

    And I would never have guessed that I would feel this comfortable because it's just our life now. And I'm so grateful our girls are happy. I love getting to know the state of North Carolina. I'm surrounded by mountains. I told Kevin, or it's not.

    It's beautiful. And people come here for tourism, and I didn't even really know about it.

    Asheville, and then they had the hurricane a few months ago, So a lot of this area is still destroyed and working its way back up to normalcy. So we kind of came at a unique point of history. Helene really destroyed most of what I can see.

    Like, I can see the damage, and people are still recovering. So I'm just thankful to be here.

    Anna Kettle

    00:28:56.178 - 00:30:27.258

    Yeah, I mean, there's a couple of things. There's so many things that strike me about that. That's amazing.

    But I think, firstly that God kind of gave you something to do, and even though you were like, oh, this is too hard. God, this is ridiculous. I don't want to do this. It seems impossible.

    Like, it's actually something that God knew you wanted to do and would be good at doing and wouldn't even enjoy doing. Like, you, like, you talk about it really passionately and, you know, although you were like, I can never do that. You're doing it and you love it.

    And I love the fact that God knows us and he knows he's created us with a unique purpose that, like, you know. Yeah, they're all different, aren't they?

    And, like, not trying to be like other mums who are like, homeschooling or whatever, but being who God's made you to be is where fullness of life is. And I love that. And I just love the fact as well that so much of your story is about just making yourself available.

    You know, it just strikes me that you're like, well, okay, I'll just like, step out and be available and. And have a go. And actually, that's. That's kind of all God asks us, asks of us. Like, just be here. Just hang out.

    Just be available to be used by me, and I'll do the rest. Like, you're not responsible for the outcomes or for how fruitful it is. You know, just be faithful with what I've given you to do.

    And I love that about your story because you are. And you are being. And. Yeah. And like, God is totally using it, but, you know, it's. Yeah, Yeah. I just think it's really, really inspiring.

    Kim Patton

    00:30:27.354 - 00:30:30.950

    Well, I kind of left out my husband a little bit because.

    Anna Kettle

    00:30:32.750 - 00:30:33.510

    Poor husband.

    Kim Patton

    00:30:33.590 - 00:31:30.942

    Poor husband. You know, it really is poor husband because you should have seen the fights we had last year.

    I mean, you know, we were in a house full of people and there were cameras, and so we would be in the room and I'm, like, glaring at him and like, like, you know, fighting with my face, but quietly. And he's just standing there taking it. And, you know, a teenager maybe just cussed me out or something.

    Or a teenager has said my name 50,000 times in the last hour. And I'm like, If somebody says Ms. Kim one more time, I'm going to throw this pot across the kitchen.

    Because they'll come out of their room saying, miss Kim, miss Kim. They'll walk all the way down the hallway, miss Kim, miss Kim. Until they find me. They do not stop. And it's a big cottage. It takes them a. To find me.

    Anna Kettle

    00:31:31.046 - 00:32:12.872

    You know what? I, like, honestly don't know how you manage to be somewhere with so many people that constantly need something from you. Like, I think it's amazing.

    And I think even if sometimes you feel like, oh, I'm not very patient or I'm not patient enough or I don't have enough. Like, I just think it's incredible what you guys do. So just amazing. But I suppose, I suppose then just to. To like wrap up this bit.

    Like what, you know, kind of when you look back at that whole story that we've talked about and sort of thread through it all, I mean, what. What would be kind of one big takeaway or key lesson about life and faith that you feel like you've learned up to, up to now?

    Like, is there one word or phrase or just maybe even a verse that.

    Kim Patton

    00:32:12.896 - 00:37:08.204

    Comes to mind just going back to what God has called us to do, which is to be more like Christ? And we don't. I mean, we don't do that. We don't. We're not responsible for making ourselves more like Christ.

    In John, it talks about abiding in the vine and he will bring the fruit. And I think the fruit of the Spirit is really convicting to me because, you know, self control is in there. Self control is just, oh, I wish it.

    I wish it didn't exist. But do we have the power on our own to have self control with two toddlers and six teenagers, you know, running around our house?

    And we're responsible for dinner, we're responsible for grocery shopping. We have some on the porch who are asking to go for a bike ride.

    And then we have little toddlers who are starving to death and just, you know, are shoving crackers in their face. Do I have self control? No, I don't.

    But I have a husband who can take the toddlers to the porch and let the teenagers go for a bike ride while I cook dinner. I have a God who allows me to turn on worship music and listen to Corey Asbury or Matt Mar or Lauren Daigle.

    And just as I'm stirring the meat, as I'm boiling the noodles, I can choose to abide in the Lord. And I don't have to be responsible for that self control.

    So I would say the phrase for me is absolute dependence on God because it takes away the responsibility from me.

    I'm not going to conjure up the self control to take care of 10 people and a husband who we all know, it kind of lumps all together unless nobody is around. And I'm completely by myself. As a woman, I feel the burden of taking care of everybody. And God steps in and says, please don't.

    Please don't feel that burden. Come to me, all you who are weary, and I will give you rest. Now, what does rest look like? It looks like turning on worship music as you make dinner.

    It looks like setting some boundaries. Hey, I'd love to help you with your homework, but I can't right now because I'm making dinner.

    So circle back with me after dinner and we'll work on that. Setting boundaries, saying, no, I can't do that right now, but I can help you later.

    Separating myself from people who can be taken care of by someone else for a few minutes and not feeling like I have to do it all.

    So dependence on God in those busy moments, in those days of absolute chaos is really having the humility to say, I can't, and I don't want to, because that means I'm doing it in my own strength. And I know from my past history that that's only going to lead to stress, burnout, anxiety, health problems, headaches. I don't want that for myself.

    So God has given us the gift of boundaries, of help people who come alongside. My husband pursued this job and this ministry and this calling for our family so that he could be by my side.

    He gave up an individual career where he could go off to work and not take care of kids and not worry about the home life. He gave that up for me, for us, for these children.

    So the fact that he feels called to serve orphans alongside me, his crazy wife, and our two crazy children, that tells me that God is working in him, and I honor that. I respect that. No, I don't want him by my side 24, 7. Like, go. I want some space. You can, you know, go golf. And he does. But that man will.

    That man is like Jesus, because he will serve children. He will serve the ministry and our family before he serves himself. And I honestly don't feel like I can say that about myself.

    I would love to go read a book. And I'm very quick to say, hey, I'm gonna go read a book. And he's not quick to say, hey, I'm going golfing.

    He only goes golfing when he knows it's a day off. He knows that I don't need, you know, any grocery shopping done. The kids are at preschool. Like, that's when he takes time for himself.

    So God has given me a mercy in allowing him to shoulder the burden of our family because he doesn't struggle with anxiety. And so it's a gift, it's a mercy to allow him to shoulder and carry some things for our family.

    Anna Kettle

    00:37:08.372 - 00:38:32.378

    But, I mean, as much as you're like, oh, yeah, he's really Jesus, like, and obviously it sounds like he is, but equally like, I. I kind of listen to you talk, and I just think, yeah, but you're doing all this with anxiety and with all the.

    This history, and yet you're doing it anyway. And that, to me, is also Christ. Like, you've. You've both counted the cost as a couple.

    And, you know, you are a really great example, I think, of a surrendered life, of, like, this was not how I plan my life to look, but actually, this is where you've taken us, Lord. This is where you've led us. We're doing it.

    We're being faithful with what you've asked us to do, and we're doing it by resting in you, moment by moment, day by day. And I think the way you describe doing that, that kind of abiding sort of life that enables it is amazing and really practical.

    Just some really practical examples there that are really helpful because people talk about rest, but you're like, what does that actually look like? And you describe that so well. And I just think.

    I think you're both an inspiration as a couple, really, because I think you both show what it is to lay down your own life and to try to. Obviously, you don't get it right 100% of the time, because we're human, right? No one does.

    But to try and be more Christlike and selfless and to live that surrendered life, and I think that's amazing. So keep going, guys. You're awesome.

    Kim Patton

    00:38:32.474 - 00:40:13.548

    Oh, thank you. That's very sweet and very encouraging.

    A lot of this has been a lonely, kind of confusing journey, but I have a group of prayer friends who I've been texting all year long. 2024. There was a lot. There was a lot that happened in 2024, to put it lightly with our. With our teenagers and our first year in that job.

    And I would text my friends, hey, prayer friends, we're getting our sixth teen, seventh teen, and this is what's going on. And, you know, I'd get so many responses of just the same specific people. My mom, my mentor, my best friends in Florida, Georgia.

    You know, they're just so ready to support me. And they'd always say, like, thank you. Thank you for the update. So I know how to pray. And it's like they.

    They loved being along for the journey, and they loved being such a intimate part of what God was doing through me. It's like it strengthened their faith, too. So I was really blessed to have some really supportive friends.

    And as we moved, you know, that's always a little bit embarrassing, you know, to tell the world that you've moved to your fourth state, no, fifth state in like six or seven years. We went from Florida to Georgia to South Carolina to North Carolina. My poor babies are so confused.

    But they'll learn geography soon enough and they'll realize, oh, wow, like, we've really been around.

    Anna Kettle

    00:40:13.684 - 00:41:01.910

    Yeah, but I think you're right, that just the power of having a good community, a little network of friends around you who are like, just prayerfully there and even if they're not physically living around the corner, just like being able to WhatsApp or send a message and share prayer stuff. I, I have groups like that too as well, and some of my local friends who are in my church and some not anymore, but that just the.

    The power of having other praying women around you is so, so, so important. I think you're absolutely right. So just to finish up, then, like, tell us a little bit more about where people can find you.

    Where can they reach you if they're interested in hearing more about your journey or maybe having a look at your book, your podcast, Tell us all the things. Where can we find you?

    Kim Patton

    00:41:02.030 - 00:43:20.096

    Kimpatten.com is my website and basically everything is there, so there's all the links. My book, Nothing Wasted is on Amazon. I also recorded an audiobook and I've had a lot of really good feedback about the audiobook.

    If you're not cringely annoyed by my voice from this hour of podcasting, then you, you will enjoy the audiobook because I read it myself and the book is really full of personal experiences that just constantly teach us to rely on God, to depend on Him.

    Everything that we've been talking about today, through our difficult seasons and our difficult days, where we are crying out and saying, I can't do this. God is always there to comfort and give compassion and lead and guide and then show us the next step.

    And I've learned so much just by surrendering to him. And so that book is going to help encourage you to live a surrendered life. And then I am working on another book, hopefully to release next year.

    And that will be kind of along the same vein of, you know, I can't do this. I can't do this on my own. How to. How to live up to the call when God calls you to do impossible things. And so that will be forthcoming.

    And then my podcast, Book Therapy. I release an episode every two weeks and I focus on one great book.

    So if you're looking for Christian books, nonfiction, occasionally I do a Fiction book, they're all clean. And if they aren't clean, I give the trigger warning at the beginning.

    But basically I talk about books that can change your life, that can help you through whatever season you're facing, and I don't give any spoilers. And I interview a lot of really wonderful guests who have written books.

    And sometimes I just talk to somebody about a book and we just both kind of dive into the book we both read. They don't have to be the author.

    But if you love to read and you want to know what to read next, Book Therapy has a whole bunch of books that I think that people will really enjoy.

    Anna Kettle

    00:43:20.208 - 00:44:00.692

    It sounds awesome. Yeah, I'm, as I said, I'm a big lover of reading as well, so always looking out for more recommendations. That sounds great for any book readers.

    And I have to say I've read your book as well and yeah, just found it really inspiring. Great to learn a little bit more about you. So yeah, highly recommend all of that and it's all on your website.

    We'll also add all of those links onto the show notes for this podcast so you can find them guys if you want to check out more. But listen, Kim, thank you so much for giving up your time and telling us a little bit about you and your beautiful family and your story today.

    Thanks for joining us.

    Kim Patton

    00:44:00.796 - 00:44:22.576

    Yeah, it's really fun. It's always good to.

    It's always good to collaborate with other people and verbally process what God has done in our lives because he really has done more than we give him credit for. And so to be able to talk about it and just highlight some of the really cool ways that he's worked in our lives is super fun. So thank you, Anna.

    Anna Kettle

    00:44:22.608 - 00:44:41.800

    Yeah, you're right.

    Sometimes it's only when you pause long enough and take stock and look back and you're like, oh, I was here 12 months ago and now it's kind of only when you look back that you realize how much God is done sometimes. So, yeah, it's really awesome. And thank you. Thank you for sharing with us so honestly today. Take care. See you soon.

    Sadaf Beynon

    00:44:42.100 - 00:45:44.880

    And just like that, we've reached the end of another fascinating conversation. Crowd Church is a digital church, a community, a space to explore the Christian faith, and a place where you can contribute and grow.

    To find out more, check out www.crowd.church and don't forget to subscribe to what what's the story on your favorite podcast app? We've got a whole lot of inspiring stories coming your way, and we really don't want you to miss any of them.

    What's the Story is the production of Crowd Church. Our fantastic team is made up of Anna Kettle, Matt Edmondson, Tanya Hutzilak, and myself, Sadaf Banan.

    We work behind the scenes to bring these stories to life. Our theme song is the creative work of Josh Edmondson.

    If you're interested in the transcript or show notes, head over to our website Whatsastorypodcast.com and sign up for our weekly newsletters to get all this goodness delivered straight to your inbox. So that's all from us this week. Thank you so much for joining us and we'll catch you in the next episode. Bye for now.

 

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