18: Figuring out relationships in my 20s
Today’s Guest: Josh Birch
Josh is a husband, and father to two beautiful kids and works as a physiotherapist at Alder Hey hospital. He is an avid cricketer and a big fan of the Liverpool Football Club.
Here’s a summary of this week’s story:
Josh grew up in a Christian household and attended church, but he fell away from God during his teenage years. He didn't have a relationship with God because he never realized the significance of what it meant for him on a day-to-day basis.
Josh talks about how he broke up with his girlfriend and travelled to Southeast Asia where one night when he was in a state of anger, hate, and pain, he decided to pray. As soon as he did, he felt an overwhelming sense of peace come over him. He attributes this experience to the beginning of his personal relationship with God.
While working as a physiotherapist at Alder Hey, he started attending church regularly. He faced challenges when he tried to balance his old life with his new faith, but ultimately decided to be honest with his friends and continue living in the real world as a salt and light. He was voted captain of his cricket team and used this position to change the culture of the team for the better.
Josh met Alice when she moved in with the Birch family as a lodger, and they quickly became friends. Over the course of four years, they remained close friends while dating other people; however, at the end of those four years, Josh realized that Alice met every single criterion on his list for what he was looking for in a wife. After returning from a trip to France, he asked her to marry him.
Josh and Alice have been married nearly 7 years and have two kids. Their younger daughter, Ada, was born with a congenital heart defect and down's syndrome. He talks about how their relationship with God and the love and support of the church community helped them through their hard times.
Josh says that it is important to focus on what you know to be true and not try to do things by yourself. It is crucial to be in community and to speak out in difficult times and seek help.
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Matt Edmundson: Welcome to what's the story? My name is Matt Edmundson, and this is a podcast full of stories about faith and courage from everyday people. And today I am chatting with the legendary Josh Birch about his Christian journey challenges that he has faced and some of the lessons he has learned along the way.
But before I get into all things like that, Josh, one of the things I love to do, Uh, is I love to just shout out about the sponsor of today's episode, which is Crowd church. Yes. Crowd Online Church, you know as well as I do, not everybody wants to go to church and not everybody can get into a church building, and this is where online Church works super well as it is a safe space to explore the Christian faith.
And the thing that I love, love, love, love about Crowd Church is that you get to join in and shape the conversation as they don't just talk at you. So if you've never been to church before or if you are looking for a new church, check out Crowd Church. The website is www.crowd.church, uh, or you can email me directly at matt@crowd.church with any questions that you have.
Yes, you can. So let's talk about Josh. Josh is what? He's just no round top geezer. He is a husband, uh, a father to two beautiful kids and works as a physiotherapist at Alder Hey Hospital. He used to be an avid cricketer, but let's not hold that against him. And he's also a big fan of LFC despite the season, not going that well.
Uh, and before we hit the record button, Josh also said that he's just gone and deleted everything to do with Facebook. So I'm keen to dig into that. Josh, welcome to what's the Story? Great to have you here, man. How are you doing?
Josh Birch: Thank you for having me, Matt. Yeah, great to be here. Doing well, thank you.
Matt Edmundson: Good, good, good. And the kid, it's fair to say that, uh, as we're recording this, the kids have just gone to bed. Will they, will they remain in bed or is it, is it touch and go?
Josh Birch: Yes. No, they're generally good. They'll definitely stay in bed. Whether the older one shouts out for an extra little cuddle, might, might happen, but, uh, my wife's got that covered.
Matt Edmundson: Ah, . Very good. How old are the kids?
Josh Birch: Uh, oldest one is four now started school in September. And uh, younger sister is two.
Matt Edmundson: Wow. So you've got very young kids and you've, how long have you been married?
Josh Birch: Uh, coming up seven years in April. Yeah.
Matt Edmundson: Wow, wow. So you got the proper family going on now, haven't you? It's fair to say that the, I've known you for the longest time and, um, you've, you've grown up in, uh, what can only be described from the outside is quite a fun.
but slightly lunatic family, uh, do you know what I mean with, you've got your mum and dad who are just the most beautiful people on the planet. And then obviously there are the four brothers. Um, and yeah, just, uh, always, always loved from the outside looking in. Always looked at the Birch family and just thought it was fantastic.
Was it actually like that growing up in the Birch family?
Josh Birch: Yes, it was, yeah, three older brothers always kept busy, always, you know, striving to be at their level. I think it brought me on in, in my sports life and lots of things I did. I was always being challenged at a higher level for having three older brothers.
And yeah, I loved it. As you said, my mum and dad are brilliant. Um, looking back on it now and being a parent, you can look back and see, you know, how blessed I was growing up to have such great parents, such stability and a, a loving home. So, Yeah. I look back at it with very fond memories. Indeed.
Matt Edmundson: Yeah, I bet you do.
I bet you do. So you are, i I, I mean, I know your mom and dad and you guys from, uh, church. We, we sort of grew up in the same church, but did you, um, I mean I, I obviously kind of know the story, but this is a podcast called What's the Story? So I think we should probably share with everybody else. Did you grow up then in this Christian, uh, home as a Christian?
Josh Birch: I'd answer that yes and no in that, yes, it was a, a Christian household. My parents were all always Christians. They became Christians in university and then obviously went on to have a family. So I, I've known them as Christians, um, and definitely Christian principals throughout the home. We did always attend church, and we moved up to Liverpool from Bristol to, to help with the, the planting of Frontline Church, um, which is a big church in Liverpool.
Um, so yeah, I think I always had Christian beliefs. I always, I would always say I believed that there was a god. Hmm. Um, but I guess growing up for most people going through teenage years, you, you question a lot of things. You question life. I thought the Bible was outdated. I didn't think it was relevant to today.
Um, you know, I thought certain practices in church you'd call hypocritical and this and that, and kind of fell away a little. Um, through that stage I then hit 16, 17, and obviously there's lots of other different things that come into life at that age and many distractions. Yeah. And would probably say I fell away, went to university and Yeah.
I, I, I, I wasn't living a Christian lifestyle. I wasn't in relationship with God, so yeah, I, I wouldn't have said I was a Christian, but would've still, I still believed in God, but there was no, no relationship there.
Matt Edmundson: What does that mean to you when you say there's no relationship there?
Josh Birch: I, I think looking back on it now, and a lot of people described it as head knowledge and heart knowledge.
I think I had head knowledge from going to church, from listening to my parents to, you know, listening to preachers up on the stage about yeah, what Christianity is, who God is, you know, who Jesus is and, and what he did for us. Um, so I knew that, but I, I wouldn't say it was. It didn't have any emotional connection to me.
That's probably the best way of putting it. It was head knowledge. I knew about it, but it hadn't sunk into my heart. I hadn't realized the significance of what that actually meant for me in my life in a, in a day-to-day way.
Matt Edmundson: Yeah. So what, so what happened then to cause that switch? Because obviously, I mean, you go to church now, sorry, spoiler alert.
and so obviously there was a, there's a change and there was a shift at some point. So what, what happened for you to go from this, this place of not being in relationship with God and head knowledge moving to heart knowledge?
Josh Birch: So it was quite, Um, pinpoint moment in time. Um, so I finished university. I was in between jobs, just starting to get into my physio career.
Um, and my girlfriend at the time, I'd been with for five years, we'd had her ups and downs, but we still together, we chose to go traveling, so we went out to Southeast Asia. Um, I couldn't actually, uh, Get out there at the same time she was, because I'd just been offered a new job and I thought I'd take it anyway.
I got time. We went out there, um, and actually I think it was two weeks before I was due to go out there. We spoke on the phone, decided to call it a day, and so broke up. Yes. Um, which looking back on it now, was the right thing to do? But I'm kind of an internal optimist. I always look for the best in things and think, no, it'll get better.
It'll get better. We can work on bla bla bla. Um, but anyway, we decided to call it a day and so I ended up heading out to Southeast Asia for six weeks on my own, having just broken up from a five year relationship. So not in the best head space, shall we say, those travels. Um, luckily I had some friends out in Thailand that I met up with for the first couple of days and that helped.
And then anyway, progressively it just got more and more difficult to be on my own in that space. It only takes you having a couple of evening meals by yourself to kind of feel very alone, very vulnerable, especially out in a, in a foreign country. Um, then while I was out there, I found out some information that I really didn't wanna know about that kind of broke my heart, um, and in the same instance got me very angry.
And so I spiraled at that point. I just got to a new city in Cambodia. It was, and um, yeah, emotions just started to spiral. I went through periods of real anger and hate and then, desperation and sadness, pain, and it just perpetuate and got worse and worse. I tried to go to bed, I couldn't. I'd come down and probably for a four hour period, I just had this intense emotion that was just pretty much.
Matt Edmundson: Can I, can I ask, what was the news that caused you to spiral?
Josh Birch: Yeah. Um, basically I. I was still able to log on to my ex-girlfriend's Facebook accounts and for some reason decided to log on and look at her messages, which showed that she had been with, with other men, um, in that time. So, so, yeah. So found out that information, right.
Um, which yeah, was obviously painful. Mm-hmm. . Um, so where was I? Yeah, so I went through that, that pain, painful feelings, painful, um, time was lying in bed coming up or down in and out, um, of, of the room and just really didn't know what to do with myself. Luckily in the town, I didn't know where the local bars were. I didn't know anything, so I, I thankfully didn't go down that route.
And then ended up as about two, three in the morning lying in bed and suddenly just dawned me. Why don't I pray? I've heard stories. I've been in church, I've heard stories about praying. I've heard stories. God meeting you in your hour of need. So I just lay there, arms open on my bed and start to pray. And literally as I turned my focus to God and Prayer, I just felt this overwhelming sense of peace come over me.
This sense of light, this sense of warmth, it, I was almost taken back and I had to remind, oh, keep praying. I want this to continue. So I was like, what on earth is this? And just it. It was just amazing. And when I think back on it now, it does give me shivers. It still just reminds me of how amazing that was.
So yes, straight away I felt at peace. All that anger, all that tension, all that pain I was storing up inside was just released. It was gone. And then I carried on praying. I carried on talking to God, if you like, speaking to Jesus, feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit over me. Um, and light bulbs start to go off in my head in.
Our relationship. I think it was in the third year I had gone to Africa and I had cheated on, um, my girlfriend then. Um, and I tried, I told her the truth eventually, and we tried to work through it, but it, it broken, trusted, made it difficult. And then having that same experience come back on me with the same girl, just highlighted to me how painful that is, and gave me a very valuable lesson to.
um, in terms of respecting women and your girlfriends, wife. Um, a, a lesson that I hold to this day and, and thank God that I, I did learn that lesson cause I, I can completely appreciate the pain it causes now. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and through all that, I, I, I had emailed a girlfriend. So to be fair to her, she was amazing.
She traveled four hours on the bus, the wrong direction. Cause we had met up in, in camp where we were to come and sort out and speak to me. So I think she was a bit nervous of what she was gonna meet when she came. And then to find out that I had, you know, experienced God through it all and found my faith and a personal relationship.
Forgave her and everything was, was quite a shock to her at the time. Yeah, no kidding. Yeah. And yeah, now we're still friendly. It's all, yeah, there was, there was no grudges if you like, held. And then I spent the rest, rest of those six weeks traveling and, and that was the start of my personal relationship with, with, with God, if you like.
Matt Edmundson: So, quite the story, Josh, uh, finding God in Cambodia, who knew he was there? Uh, you had to go all that way to find him. Right. Um, and so you've, you've, you've sort of had this experience with God as maybe would say in the church. You, you know, you've had an encounter with the Holy Spirit there in your room in Cambodia, you sense God, you start to find your faith.
Um, and reestablish yourself as a Christian over those weeks in Cambodia. What was that phone call to mum and dad like? Because for 5, 6, 7 years you've not been living that way. Your, your mum and dad are fairly, you know, they, they've obviously got vibrant relationships with God, but, and they're praying that you obviously discover Christ at some point in your walk in life. Yeah. So what was that phone call like?
Josh Birch: to be honest, man, I don't, I don't think I called them and told them . I'm, I'm trying to think back.
Matt Edmundson: Do they, do they know yet?
Josh Birch: yes. They know. Sorry. And I, I think this is also, this was also the change for me in trying to change relationships within our family. Although from the outside, like you said, you looked and the Birch family was whatever you thought it was. Hmm. Which it was in many accounts, but we were not, yeah, looking back, we probably weren't in an emotional healthy family in terms of there was the, the surface level emotion, but it, it wouldn't go that deep if you like, if we had issues, concerns, you know, for lad.
It wasn't sitting down with a box of tissues trying to get through it, like, no, you know, we'll just, we'll get on with it. We don't really need to say anything. And that was kind of it, especially for me as well when it came to girlfriends. I, I, I used to pour my emotions into my girlfriends rather than family, parents, brothers.
Um, so then when I broke up with a girlfriend, I was kind of left with no one to talk to and I'd be like, ah, crap, what do I do? Um, so yeah, so it highlights for me that that lack of deeper, you know, emotional connection with my family and, and that was probably the start of me reaching out and trying to get a deeper relationship with my brothers and with my mom and dad.
Mm-hmm. , um, So, so yeah, I was, I, I probably, I'm still not ever want to sit on the phone and chat for a while, so this is quite a new experience for me as well, Matt to, uh, sit here for more than five minutes and actually talk to someone. Um, So, yeah, what was I saying? Yeah, that was the start of me reaching out and trying to bring more, uh, deeper relationships with my brothers and my parents.
So yeah. In Cambodia yeah. I, I wasn't on the phone the next day going, wow, listen to this. I think I was still trying to process it in my own head. Um, I did reach out to one of my brothers and tell 'em that I was struggling because I, I didn't even tell my mom and dad that me and my girlfriend had broken up before I went out there.
I just announced like via text while I was out there. And then amazingly, when I said, you know, three weeks in, I was struggling being on my own a bit, my, um, one of my brothers just dropped what he was doing and flew out and met me and spent two weeks traveling round Lao in Vietnam. So, which was amazing.
And yeah, cherish that time to this day, which was great.
Matt Edmundson: Yeah, no kidding. So rewind before you go to Cambodia then? Um, yeah. , uh, I, I'm kind of curious, what was it like living as someone who didn't really have a relationship with God in a house where your parents clearly did? Was there any, um, and I'm not looking for dirt here, Josh, I'm just, I'm aware that there, this is quite an obvi, uh, this is quite a common thing for a lot of people.
You know, you've got Christian parents, but you are not a Christian. How do you, how do you find a way to live without winding each other up, you know, and that, that whole side of things. So what was it like for you? Yeah. I'm kind of curious.
Josh Birch: Um, yeah, no, it was good. And I think my parents soon realized they, they couldn't push or force us into doing anything.
Um, so, uh, so yeah, I mean, there was no real conflict. They, they could see I was living. , you know, uh, healthy lifestyle in terms of playing sport, in terms of having good relationships with friends and with girlfriends and stuff like that, that I, I wouldn't, I wasn't probably doing anything that they were worried about.
Maybe some over-drinking at times. Mm-hmm. and celebrating or whatever. Um, but never to the point where, We battered heads and that I couldn't be doing this in their house. Um, and they would always just ask nicely, Josh, do you wanna come to church this morning? And I'd make my excuses, but there was never any pressure or disappointment in me in doing that.
Um, , which I guess looking back now as a father, it's hard cause I think about my kids now, I'm thinking, oh no, you know, you think you know what's best and you wanna try and push it on them. But yeah, I respect my mom and dad for doing that and letting us kind of almost find our own journey. And looking back on it now and speaking to them, they were always praying for me.
So, yeah, you know, they were always praying for me out when I was traveling or when I was doing anything. I, you know, their prayers were, were covering me in that situation.
Matt Edmundson: Yeah, it's an interesting one, isn't it? Cause like you say, I mean, I've got kids, you've got kids, and you kind of, you kind of think, I wonder how I'd respond in that situation.
And I, I I, part of me hopes I don't have to find out, you know? Yeah. It's that kind of, um, but I, do you think, looking back on it, then, now your mom and dad handled that situation well?
Josh Birch: Um, . Yeah. Yeah. Cause I think if they pushed, I would've just pushed back harder. I was 16, you know, finding myself and, sorry.
16 was probably the point where I fell away from going to church. I think in those early teenage years, they made us go. Cause we were kids who were young. They didn't want to leave us in the house, our own, whatever it was. They, they, they would tell us to come once we hit 16 and I had GCSEs. I used to use Sunday mornings while it was quiet to do my revision.
My study. Um, and they would just ask nicely, do you wanna come? Offer it offer it, offer it. Sometimes I would, sometimes I wouldn't. Um, but no push on it. And they would pray and they would like us to get together and pray, you know, of certain situations. And again, I would and I wouldn't, um, yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, no, I think, I think it was probably the right thing to.
Yeah. I don't look back on it thinking any regret or thinking things gonna be different. So yeah. No, I think it was the,
Matt Edmundson: well, I mean, it's obviously worked out well in the end anyway. Yeah. You know, so, um, so you come back to England, um, you are a physiotherapist, like you say Alder Hey. Um, and you sort of get stuck into work.
Do you start getting stuck back into church at this point?
Josh Birch: Yeah. Yeah. So came back, I started telling some friends and family, um, started getting stuck back in, well, started to get back into going to church. Um, and it was amazing. Those first few. I remember now going to church, like the first worship song I hear, it was like God was speaking directly to me, the first preach.
I was like, man, does he know what's just gone on in my life? What he's talking about is like resonating so strongly with me. I was like, who's tipped him off about this? And you know, the preacher and what he's saying. Um, yeah, it was just amazing for like that first month, just the head knowledge turned to heart knowledge, and then all the light bulbs going off on what God was trying to teach me through my experiences so far.
And, you know, yeah. Direction and where you wanted to take me and all this. So it was, it was an exciting time. Um, so yeah, I got stuck going, got got back stuck into going into church and, and getting linked in with, um, community groups and different things.
Matt Edmundson: So what were some of the challenges you faced?
Because you must have been wanting your mid twenties, maybe 24, 25 at this point, and, and yeah. So what were some of the challenges that you faced about getting involved with church at that point that you had to sort of deal with?
Josh Birch: Um, I guess it was, it was striking the balance of, of still living in the real world, if you like, and, and being a part of the church and Christian lifestyle.
Because one part of me was like, let's just leave my old life behind, get stuck into going to church, go to church football teams, go to church this, go to church that. And then I, I kind of felt God speak to me saying, no, that's not what, what I want you to do. I want you to be this new version of Josh, if you like the new Christian, Josh, but in your still, in your, in your life.
Still in my cricket club, still in my football club. Still within work. Um, and, and if you like, be the salt and light within those areas. Try and bring, bring, you know, this new found love of Jesus in, into those areas rather than just leave it all. Which obviously then comes with challenges because they've known me for 15 years as Josh, the non-Christian, if you like.
So suddenly I'm going there, being someone different and, and, and that, that's, yeah, it's a challenge, isn't it?
Matt Edmundson: Yeah, . It definitely can be. Yeah. There's no doubt. And so, um, so how did you deal with that? How did you, how did you make that work?
Josh Birch: Um,
thankfully I'm not, I'm not, I, I'm quite a confident person and confident in who I am. And I think, again, that's a blessing that my parents have bestowed upon me with, with the security they've given me in my, in my home and the upbringing. Um, And I, I guess I was just honest with my friends. I was just honest and said, look, this is what I want to do now.
I've tried that past life. They know what I've been doing. And I just said that, that didn't make me happy. I found this that is making me happy, but I was still able to have fun with them. I was still, like, for instance, the cricket is a big one. Um, within a men's changing room. There's many things said and done that aren't Yes, exactly great ways to live your life or whatnot.
Matt Edmundson: not family viewing. Uh,
Josh Birch: you were exactly not family viewing. Um, so I, I think it was a year or two years after I became a Christian, I got voted in to be the, the cricket club captain. So then I kind of impose my, not impose probably a stronger word, but to, you know, I'm the captain, so what I says goes, if you like, so mm-hmm.
I'm, I'm how I believe the team and I was captain for the club for five years. Um, I managed to, to yeah. Change that, that dressing room culture and, and, and bring in a bit more. Family viewing, if you like, into, into, into that situation. And I, I hope the lads looking back now and respected me for that and, and found that, um, uh, a good intervention into the club and into the, into the cricket team.
Yeah. Yeah. And it did, I built good relationships with them and, and yeah, it was a really good time.
Matt Edmundson: Wow. Very good. So looking back now, then, you've been married, you said about seven years which is obviously a different experience to, uh, going out to Asia, right. Where you've just broken up with your girlfriend.
Yep. Um, and I'm kind of curious then there's had to have been a change of thinking, let me just put it that way. Right. You, there are some things you have had to undo in your head, uh, where relationships are concerned may be. How did, how did you go about doing that?
Josh Birch: Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that was probably one of the other big challenges was as, as I alluded to earlier, that a lot of my emotional relationship came from being with a girlfriend.
So yeah, I guess from the age of 15 I'd always been in relationships. Um, and then suddenly, uh, I was mid twenties. in a career starting to earn some proper money and, um, was then trying to live a, a Christian lifestyle and be respectful and all that with within relationships and trying to find the, the right woman to, um, to, to, to, to go into a relationship with, um, and very much felt.
this was a weakness or an area of weakness where I could be attacked. If you like, we talk, you know, the spiritual battle attack of the devil. Could you know really? Get to get at this point. And looking back, there were lots of offers, lots of female interests. And I think, you know, as soon as I say No, thank you, I'm trying to live this certain way, it almost makes it more of a challenge.
And, and girls would, would, would be even more attracted to you when you are not living that lifestyle, if you like. So that was, that was quite hard for me to try and remain focused on what my end goal was and not just enjoy the moment, um, in that circumstance, if you like.
Matt Edmundson: Yeah, yeah. No. Fair play, fair play.
So you, I mean, you're, you're married to Alice now, who's just a beautiful lady and we know and love and adore. Um. But it's fair to say that, um, well, why don't you just tell the story, uh, about you and Alice. Cause I think it's interesting given where you've come from, uh, what actually happened and you ended up getting married.
Josh Birch: Yeah. So it's a, yeah, it's a little mini testimony itself. Um, for those that you that don't know, my mom and dad have a lovely old Victorian house, eight bedrooms. We've always grown up with lodgers and lots of people coming in and out of the house through the church, through various people.
Matt Edmundson: Sorry. It's probably worth just pointing out that lodgers to our American cousins is roommates.
Roommates. They, I always get asked, what's a lodger, when I talk about having lodgers, so yeah. Sorry. Just translating you crack on.
Josh Birch: Yeah, no worries. So, yeah, so that, that, that was our house. Um, what am I talking about? Yeah, so Alice, Alice was a family friend, um, who, my mum and dad knew better than me. She worked in the same school.
My mum worked, she was going through a tough time of her life. Um, and really just needed somewhere to stay cuz she had nowhere to live, had fallen out with the parents. Various things was in. , well, she'll say the lowest point of her life. Yeah. Um, so she knew my mom and dad had lodgers, you know, took, took roommates in, um, and asked my mom, can I just move in for two weeks to get myself sorted?
And, and then, um, I'll move on. So my mom said, no worries. She came in. She ended up staying for four years. Um, so yes, 2, 2, 2 weeks turned into four years, um, of which we were housemates friends. Got to know each other very well. Uh, when she moved in, obviously, like I said, she was in the lowest point of her life.
This was only a few months after what I had just, um, described in terms of Cambodia and all that. So I was certainly not looking for a relationship or anything. I was just trying to get my relationship with God sorted first. So, so that was in a healthy place to then start a, a new relationship. Um, so very quickly we just became friends, um, and then got to know each other very well.
We had both dated various people through that four year period that didn't work out short term. And we had friends and close friends always say, why aren't you two just gonna start going out? Why aren't you two together? And we'd always look each other and go, oh, no, no, definitely no, no. Or maybe no cause we just used to wind each other up.
Matt Edmundson: Um, I find that hard to believe Josh.
Josh Birch: Yeah. And then it got to that four year point and I was being discipled by, um, a great man, Mr. Marshall. . Mm. Um, he basically just told me
Matt Edmundson: He's been on what's the story? Actually, you can check out Al Marshall's episode. Yeah, yeah. The need to encourage men, uh, ironically, which was the name of his podcast.
Josh Birch: There you go. Very wise man, who said, Josh, just make a list. Make a list of what you're looking for in your potential wife and, and, you know, pray about that to God. So I started making that list and I wrote it. . And as I looked through that list, I was like, wow, Alice ticks every one of those boxes. I'm like, what is going on here?
I was like, oh. And I used to treat her like my little sister. I used to wind her up, um, do unpleasant things like fart near her cause I knew it would annoy her, all that sort of thing. and Yes, used to wind her a lot. So I thought right. We were heading out to France for a holiday. I thought, let's, let's change my
response to her, if you like, let's be nicer, let's have better conversations. Let's engage, blah, blah, blah. Let's see. Cause I, I knew all these things, but again, it was all in my head. I didn't have that, that heart. I didn't have that. Oh, I love this girl, if you like. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And literally within a week of doing that out in France, I fell head over heels and I, oh my goodness.
I really like this girl. I really, really like this girl. Um, so came home from France, sat in the bed and kind of asked her out and she just looked at me like almost scared and didn't say anything. I was like, oh my goodness. Oh no, I've ruined it. Blah, blah, blah. But basically she was scared because she had built such a good relationship with our family and my mom and dad and everything that if we didn't work out, um, She would lose all that.
Yeah. But as I, as I always say to her, if we didn't work out, my mom would've kicked me out before she kicked you out. Yeah. So, yeah.
Matt Edmundson: Which is probably quite true actually.
Josh Birch: Yeah. Yes. My mom always wanted a daughter. Yes. She had four boys. So Alice could have been that surrogate daughter.
Matt Edmundson: Yep. Yep. No doubt. No doubt.
Josh Birch: So that was in the August, so we started dating in the August. In November I proposed, she said, yes, and in April we were married. Wow. That Was nearly seven years ago.
Matt Edmundson: Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was there at the wedding, man. I have photographs and everything. Uh, that beautiful auspicious day. So, yes. No, beautiful.
So, um, so there's a great story, isn't there? A great story of redemption here, which, um, brings everything full circle, but it's fair to say, uh, if I can summarize Josh, after becoming a Christian, you had to work through some things before you could, um, uh, go through that. And I totally empathize with that because I was, I was the same way.
I had to, for me, relationships was the biggest thing because I didn't be, I didn't grow up as a Christian. I became a Christian later in my life. Yeah. And I had to, I had to relearn, I suppose what. God thought about relationships versus what I thought about relationships. And it turns out my, my thoughts about relationships were quite a little bit different to the good Lords.
Um, and so I had to do that thing of what the Bible says, which is renewing your mind, isn't it? You had to change your thinking and, um, and figure out, you know, his way, uh, and the, and the right response. So you and Alice get married. Is it all sunshine and rainbows since that day?
Josh Birch: Of course, Matt. Haven't you seen the Hollywood movies?
We've lived happily ever after. Never Argued, never did anything. No. Um, it, it, well, it's in, in terms of full circle, we actually have bought into the idea of communal living, multi-generational living. So we now live in this wonderful Victorian house with eight bedrooms with my mom and dad. Alice saw the vision of having lodgers and helping people out.
Like she needed that help you know, seven years ago, sorry, not seven, 11 years ago would've been. Yeah. Um, and so yeah, that's been great. Obviously living in a big household newlyweds and then with young children has its, it's issues, but the benefits far outweigh, far outweigh the negatives and we are definitely blessed to live with, with great parents and, yeah.
We have foreign language students and all different people come through the house, which is, which is really, really fun. Yeah. Um, but yeah, no, with me and Alice, like with any relationship, it's, you gotta work at it to make it work. Um, and, and yeah. But it is, has been a blessing. We've been blessed with two amazing kids.
Uh, second born Ada was born with a congenital heart defect and down's syndrome which we were told about at the 20 week scan. Um, so yeah, I mean obviously at the time that was devastating news and it was a lot to work through and I really, I, I have so much empathy for people who have to go through that without knowing God's cuz the support that we had from, from the church community, from our Prayer life, from from scripture, from knowing that God was there through it all.
Mm-hmm. is what got us through. Um, and we are blessed beyond belief to have this little girl in our life. She is such a blessing. Just her smile lights up the room.
Matt Edmundson: Oh, there's no doubt.
Josh Birch: Yeah. Yeah. She's amazing.. Um,
Matt Edmundson: she's very flexible too. I'm always amazed at how she can get her legs into all those different positions. It's unreal.
Josh Birch: Well, Alice is, is is flexible and then children with Down syndrome are known to be flexible as well. Right. So I think got her mother's flexibility along with the Down syndrome flexibility. So she just, yeah, she just pops her legs out wherever she wants. It's crazy.
Matt Edmundson: That's proper crazy. . Um, and then to add, I, I mean, just to bring this, this sort of full circle, um, your, your dad had a heart attack recently as well, didn't he?
Josh Birch: Yeah, certainly did. That was, uh, uh, yeah. Yeah. We were out in France, um, this summer and he's, he's had some heart issues over the years. His dad unfortunately passed away at the age of 65, I think it was, from a major heart attack. I think I was six at the time. Um, and yeah, it was just me, Alice, the kids, mom and dad in France.
And I was woken up at half seven in the morning. So my mom's screaming my dad's name, ran in to find him unresponsive on the bed. He pretty much had a major heart attack and was probably clinically dead, if you like, had passed away. There was no pulse, he wasn't breathing. His lips had gotten blue. Um, so we just shot into, into Defib mode, if you like.
Luckily, I, I have done my, um, CPR training in work. Mm-hmm. , um, and five years ago I did a, uh, enhanced CPR training, if you like, and decided to get a defib machine so that we could have it out in France. Cause they're quite isolated and remote out there. Um, so anyway, jumped to that mode. I started doing CPR on my dad, Alice, called the, um, called 999 or whatever the number was over in France.
And my mom ran out to the van to get the defib machine and all three of us working together managed to shock my dad back and get a heart rhythm. And then we ended up having 11 paramedics in the bedroom, um, there to help, um, pull him through. Uh, And yeah, and he's, he's fine. He had two stents fitted in the French hospital and is now pretty much back to full health and is, is in the house now watching tv. Thankfully.
Matt Edmundson: Causing mayhem and chaos still.
Josh Birch: Mayhem and chaos still. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's, it is amazing. And yeah, so, so again, the, the, the support and love we got from our church family, well, everyone, but, mm. Church, particularly with the Prayer and support. I was, I mean, the first thing I did was call Nick Harding, who's one of my dad's best friends and you know, a senior pastor.
Um, and just say, while I was over my dad pretty much doing cpr, just saying, Nick, this has happened. Please pray. Please tell people to pray. And hung up. And then just the, the, I mean that just spread then to Yeah, it did. Across the world. I think people in all corners of the world were praying just from Nick sending out a few texts and then it's spreading.
Yeah. Um, and, and I think the stats say that, I think it's one outta 10 people who have heart attacks outside of hospital setting make it. Um, so the percentages were against my dad, but thankfully through Prayer and, uh, God's blessing through, through me and Alice being there. Cause we were due to drive home that morning and you know, if it happened three hours later, we wouldn't have been there.
And I think my mom would've struggled to do everything on her own. Yeah. The fact that we, just loads of things. You could go, I could go into quite a lot of detail of how the Lord had put in a lot of things over the years. But for that moment, not to be my dad's last moment. So
Matt Edmundson: yeah, it's quite an amazing story.
We should probably get him on the podcast to talk about it at some point because it is quite an amazing story. And I think public service announcement. Defibs are, are great. Uh, know where your nearest defib is, uh, is my top tip. Um, but that was a stroke of, I think I said to you that was a stroke of genius getting that
uh, defib at that time and, and its only in hindsight, that you realized, isn't it? Actually, that was a, a smart thing. Yeah. So, Josh, I'm curious as we wrap up the podcast, right? You've, you've gone through this whole relationship thing and you've come out of it the other end with a beautiful bride. Yeah, you have two beautiful kids.
One, uh, your youngest daughter has Down syndrome, um, and is extraordinarily flexible. Uh, yeah. And your dad, um, who is the very definition of mayhem and chaos, uh, is, is sort of, you know, mayhem and chaosing now, but that's a lot to go through, right? Yeah. Um, for you personally, so. I'm curious in all of that, what's the learning, what's your sort of, your takeaway, your one message if you like, that you've come away with having gone through a whole, whole raft of stuff?
Josh Birch: Wowzer. That, that's a, that's a big question. Um,
I guess looking back on it now, probably just focus on what you know to be true and for me, You know, taking that head knowledge to heart, knowledge, I know Jesus is true, his teachings are true, what he tells us is true. So, so through those tough times it'll been quite easy to try and do it, you know, to go through it by myself to go, no, I'll do this by my own.
But it through sticking to his teachings, reading, praying, being in discipleship, being in community, you know, that's what's got us through all these times. So sticking to what you know is true through, through the Bible in Jesus' teachings. Mm-hmm. and, and don't do it on your own. Yeah. Don't need to. Yeah. Talk about it. Yeah. Speak to people..
Matt Edmundson: Yeah. Fantastic. Fantastic. Josh, listen man, uh, there are so many questions and I wish I could get into it a little bit more, but, um, unfortunately, time is now currently against us. Yes. So I just wanna reach out and say thanks man, for coming onto the, the podcast and sharing your story.
Um, my. This is, it is awesome and it's great to see, having known you for a little while now, it's great to see you and the growth that you've gone on.
Josh Birch: And, um, I thought you gonna say the gray hairs then? What's that called?
Matt Edmundson: Well, let's go with those as well. Alright. Yeah. , it used to be just a little known fact.
Josh and I used to work out together and he could always lift heavy weights from me, which I was always slightly miffed about, except when it came to deadlifts. Uh, I always managed to do that. Uh, but Shoulders was you, legs was me. And so, you know, I guess we balanced it out. Um, there you go. But no, it's, it's, it's been awesome to see you grow and, um, watch the story of Josh Birch unfold, really, and totally inspiring the fact that you always got a smile on your face and a heart for people, despite everything that's going on in life.
So it's been great getting you on, man. You're an absolute legend. Oh, yes, you are. Your wife is beautiful too. So you know, you're a lovely couple. Um, if you would like to reach out to Josh, if you wanna connect with him, you can do that through the Crowd Church website. Just go to crowd.church, uh, and just connect with us through the little box.
And while you're there, why not sign up to our newsletter? Uh, yes. Uh, and we'll send you all the notes and links totally for free. So, Big thanks again to Josh. Uh, what a great conversation uh, that was. Huge huge thanks. You're an absolute legend. Now remember to check out Crowd Online Church at www.crowd.church, even if you might not see the point of church.
We are a digital church on a quest to discover how Jesus helps us live a more meaningful life. We are a community, a space to explore the Christian faith and a place where you can contribute and grow. And you are welcome at Crowd church. Seems like Josh has got off. I've just noticed that Josh has disappeared.
He's just, he's just, normally, people just hang around. Uh, he's obviously just didn't want to hear the end anyway. Be sure to subscribe to what's the story wherever you get your podcast from because we've got some great stories lined up and I don't want you to miss any of them. And in case no one's told you yet today, you are awesome.
Yes you are. It's just a burden you have to bear. God created you. Awesome. Created me. Awesome. Created Josh. Awesome. Who's, who was there, who's now gone uh. Doesn't never happened before, uh, what's the story is produced by Crowd Online Church. You can find our entire archive of episodes on your favorite podcast app.
The team that makes this show possible is Sadaf Beynon, uh, Josh Catchpole, Estella Robin and Tim Johnson. Our theme song was written by Josh Edmundson, and if you would like to read the transcript or show notes, head over to the website, www.crowd.church, where as I said, you can also sign up for our weekly newsletter and get all of this good stuff direct to your inbox, totally free.
That's it. That's it from me. Thank you so much for joining us on the What's the Story podcast. I will see you next time, uh, from me and from Josh, who's disappeared. Bye for now.